what's happening to my life?
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|Wed, 10-28-2009 - 10:33pm|
I'm not sure what I really want out of this. I just need to talk to someone. I've been feeling so down lately. I'm 31 years old, and I'm not sure what's happening to my life. Everything just hit me all at once like a ton of bricks. First of all, my friendship with my best friend has ended. I was really hurt by it and cried for days. With that, it makes it really hard for me to trust other people and become their friends. In addition to that, I have just quit my job because I was miserable there. I was at that job for almost 5 years, and it wasn't something I wanted to do for the rest of my life, so after saving up enough money for those rainy days, I decided to quit my job and do something different with my career. And then I had to give up my cat because I'm living with my boyfriend and he's extremely allergic to my cat. We've been together for almost 5 years, we have been living together for 4 years with our one and only cat. We've tried our best to keep the cat, but it was getting too much. In addition to all this, I haven't really had much contact with my family. I have 5 other siblings, and they all living on their own. My parents who used to stay with my older sister had a huge fight with her and they both moved out and living with their friends. I feel like my whole family's falling apart. I've tried to stay in touch with them but sometimes it does feel so lonely when you don't really hear anything from anybody.
So all these broken relationships have really left me feeling very lonely and sad. In just a matter of months, I feel like I've lost my best friend, my job, my cat, and some of my family members. And in addition to that, I have let this affected my relationship with my other closed friends..after my friendship with my best friend ended, I feel like I can't trust anyone as my friend anymore. I'm deeply hurt inside..I don't know what to do about this pain. I feel really sad, I tell myself that sometimes friendships do end because as we get older, we all grow into different people, and it's ok, that i need to just put all this behind me and move on with my life. I tell myself to move on but I'm just wondering if what I'm going through is normal? I have never felt such big losses like this all at once in just a matter of months. Sometimes I want to talk to my boyfriend about it but I don't think he really understands. He just tells me that these things never happened to him before..he says he's still in touch with all his friends and recently we just went to one of his friends' wedding. I know I can always make new friends, but I'm usually the type of person that usually don't make alot of friends but with the few that I do have, I do intend to keep as friends for a lifetime..so that's why when my friendship with my best friend ended I was very hurt and ended up not trusting anybody. I guess I just need some time to get past all this...thanks for listening..