Who is Being Rude Here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2011
Who is Being Rude Here?
7
Wed, 06-01-2011 - 11:45am

Here is the situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Wed, 06-01-2011 - 4:30pm
I think I would just ask her drive separately if it's that important to her to be there by 3:00. I would only ask to carpool with someone if my schedule fit in with theirs, and I wouldn't expect friends to have to alter their weekend to accommodate me. So, yeah, I do think she's being a little bit rude. Did she forget that she had the reunion last weekend when she initially asked about carpooling?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Wed, 06-01-2011 - 4:31pm
Oh, if it's a chronic issue with her then I definitely wouldn't alter my schedule. Hopefully, she understands that. :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2011
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 2:58pm
Well, double-booking is definitely a chronic issue with Kate because she can't say no to anyone. I don't know when she first knew about this reunion. Today she IMed me and said, "I guess I'll just drive myself," to which I replied, "That's probably easiest.." After I said that she said, "not really." I suggested she talk to our other friends going down this weekend to see if anyone's schedule works better with hers and she just said "forget it."

I told her that I think it's unfair that she is mad at me for not carpooling with her and that she shouldn't be any more mad at me than she is at any of our other friends going to the cabin this weekend. She just said "forget it" again, so I just closed the IM window.

At this point, I'm actually annoyed, but whatever. I really just need to cut ties with Kate, which I have been saying for years, unfortunately.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Sat, 06-04-2011 - 12:41pm
" because she can't say no " Arent you having the same problem ? Politely but firmly , just tell her that since she has told you of her plans at the last moment , its not possible for you to change your plans for her. She WILL get it and will be careful next time. Sometimes some people need to be dealt with a heavy hand otherwise they take you for granted.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2011
Mon, 06-06-2011 - 10:59am

Sounds like your "friend" is being a princess/diva. I would just pretend that nothing happened when you see her this weekend and don't take any bait if she tries to be passive aggressive/make comments about it. When she doens't get the attention she wants from it she'll hopefully move on to another topic. I have asked about carpooling with friends, but if there are ever any schedule conflicts I just drive myself or have the other person drive themselves, no harm no foul.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2011
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 9:28pm

She should have said, ' you know what I have to leave early, so why don't you guys drive on your own'. You wanting to stay later and take your time leaving is not something she should be offended by. She should be more understanding. Depending on what type of person she is though, things might become uncomfortable when all of you end up at the cabin. Unless of course she's someone who won't mind and make things 'akward'! On that note SHE'S being rude! ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2011
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 9:32pm
Guess I should have kept reading before I posted! Don't let her guilt trip get to you and ruin your weekend-a true friend would want you to enjoy yourself I could see if it was a life or death situation but come on it's not so just take the high road and show her all the fun you're having give HER the guilt trip!

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