Y! Personals question

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
Y! Personals question
Fri, 06-19-2009 - 6:43pm

Back in mid to late 2007, I had met someone from craigslist. We spoke over the phone and had a blast speaking to one another. He had been divorced for about 2 years and has a 5 (well, she was 5 back then) years old (the mother has full custody).

When we met for a first date, I totally blew that date up bad (and it WAS my fault, I'll admit it)! So bad that he didn't ask for a second meet. I was disappointed, but on life went.

I've long stopped using craigslist (too many loonies on there), but am a part of Y! P (I am currently not a paying member, but am deciding to rejoin). A while ago, I discovered that this dude is on there as well. I've saved his profile because one, I wanted to check how often he was active (very bad of me to do, I know!) and two, there's that silly thought in me that says, "what if it could happen again, but under no catastrophes this time?".

Now, Y! P has a feature that lets you know who's viewed your profile. This dude's been viewing my profile every once in a while. I just logged on there before and there he is -- he viewed my profile yesterday. And he probably has my profile saved or something because I am not searchable on there.

I've posed a similar situation/question on another board months ago when some dude on eH was viewing my profile CONSTANTLY and was told that men do that, it's just the way it is. They see an interesting photo and they view it. They might not act upon it like emailing the girl that they're interested, but they just like viewing the photo.

Do you think that's the case here? I mean, on my primary photo, I haven't changed it for months and I KNOW he knows it's me. I just don't understand his thinking -- if you know who the person is and you're not interested, why view their profile?

I don't know if it's his indication to have me email him. Again, that's the same question I posed about the other dude on eH and I was told to give it a shot. When I did, the eH guy began to NOT view my profile anymore. lol! Eventually, I closed the match. I guess that's my answer in getting them to stop viewing my profile! lol!

I don't know what to do. I either ignore it or email him. But, if I do email him, what the heck do I say to him? Yeah, maybe it's best I just ignore it, then.

Just wanted some opinions here on what you would do.

Thanks in advance!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2007
Fri, 06-19-2009 - 8:16pm
i couldn't tell you why he keeps looking at your profile...i don't know why guys do the things they do...but
why not go ahead and email him?? what have you got to lose?
i say "go for it" ;)



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2008
Sat, 06-20-2009 - 7:53am
quite possibly... however j and i met thru Y. personals... and i DIDNT POST A PHOTO Of me there.. i didnt want to run the risk of certain people beiing able to find me
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
Sat, 06-20-2009 - 6:34pm

Hey, thanks for the great advice!

I've decided to just not contact the guy. I cannot seem to think up something to say to him anyway, so why bother. He wasn't interested in me after our first date back then (despite that I was into him), so why waste my time and energy on this one again. NEXT!

I'm flattered he finds my photos interesting enough to view from time to time, and while it annoys the heck out of me to see that he does that, I'll just have to let it go.

I was speaking to a friend last night and while he couldn't figure out himself why the dude still views my profile, he said the same thing I mentioned -- that, probably, some men enjoy looking at the photos, but yet, still aren't interested enough to make/initiate first contact. What jerky behavior, but what can you do, you know?

I'll tell you this, though: If this keeps up, I'm gonna have to do something about it. Because I can understand viewing a profile a couple of times, but if it becomes constant, that's when it's ridiculous.