I'm NOT an only child.....WHAT!?!?!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-1998
I'm NOT an only child.....WHAT!?!?!?
9
Mon, 11-21-2011 - 1:54pm
Hi ladies! I know it's been a while.....out of town guests...training for weeks....and now the holidays coming up.....what a crazy end of year....and to top it off I found out a few weeks ago I have a brother...WTH....yea....crazy!!!! We still haven't spoke, apparently he's a lil bitter, understandably so. It was his ex-wife who found me (they had searched together when still married)....and the two of us have kept in close contact...she is totally open to me getting to know her children. I have 2 nephews and a niece. I always wanted to be an Auntie and now I am. I have spoken to my niece twice, she just turned 11 and is so sweet. It turns out I was the only one kept I the dark this whole time. We are only 4 months apart and his mom moved out of town when he was a baby. She married and her husband adopted him. At that time I guess my dad pretty much wiped his hands :( His mom told him when he was around 10 or 12 that his dad was not his bio dad. When he was an adult and asked more questions his mom gave him more info...dads name and such. He and his wife found my dad back in 2001 and I think they spoke twice. Apparently he was hoping for more and who know what my dad did. My dad did tell them he only had one other child and told them all about me. That's how she was able to find me, on Facebook. So I get this message and think "no way, this only happens on TV.... Not to me". Hah! I called my mom that night after speaking to his ex-wife and she confirmed everything....and said she had always wanted me to know but it wasn't her secret to tell. I did talk to my dad too and he's also glad I finally know....well then why not tell me earlier?!?!?!? Anyway.....David's mom is trying to explain to him that it wasn't me, I had no clue...so hopefully he comes around and wants to reach out, but I'm leaving that up to him. I don't want to pressure him. Wow....I have a brother....Yay!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Tue, 11-22-2011 - 12:52pm
Oh, wow! What an unexpected surprise! My BFF in high school had something similar happen to her, except her brother also turned out to be her cousin (she hadn't seen her mom since she was a baby or ever known her mom's side of the family).

I hope he comes around and wants to connect with you. Is he OK with his ex having a relationship with you?

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Tue, 11-22-2011 - 4:29pm

That is cool and yes, very tv-ish.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-1998
Wed, 11-23-2011 - 4:18am
Thanks...I do too!
You know...they had an ugly divorce, she is still close to his mom and actually passed it by her before contacting me. When she told David she found me he told her to mind her business and hung up on her. His mom thinks it's because he's bitter toward my dad. He had wanted to find me at one point so I really hope he's ok with me getting to know the children since she is totally open to me getting to know my nephews and niece. His mom is aware of everything and hopefully she can get through to him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-1998
Wed, 11-23-2011 - 4:23am
Wow...I don't doubt that a secret like that can lead to some sort of mental illness. very sad!! I agree.....whatever happened was so long ago and they were all so young...get over it!
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Wed, 11-23-2011 - 1:19pm

I know, seriously.

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Avatar for vegiemama
Community Leader
Registered: 01-06-2000
Thu, 11-24-2011 - 1:56am

Oh my!


Sue
Homeschooling mom to DD15 & DS11

CL of Homeschooling, Signature Showcase, Ectopic Loss, and Fertility Charting

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 2:35pm
Wow what a big surprise! I'm so glad you are enjoying being an autie. It's great isn't it!! My DH was adopted and he found his BM and found out he has a brother. His BM kept him and he definately has some strong feelings about it. I think you are wise to give your brother some time to get used to the idea that you know about him. He will need time to separate his feelings toward your Dad from you. And then there is the fact that his XWife is the one that found you, so he most likely doesn't have the best of feelings toward her either. I wish you all the luck in him coming around!!!!
KRISTIE
Avatar for chimichanga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2000
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 11:05pm
OMG, this is so like the movies and seems unreal..wishing you good luck and I am glad that you are not pressuring him in your excitement;-)).
Chimi
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-1998
Sat, 12-03-2011 - 12:54pm

Thanks Ladies!