O.K. Ladies - its just been too, way too

Avatar for jlwhitmore
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
O.K. Ladies - its just been too, way too
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 8:02pm
quiet around here. Between this new iV look and the war and so much other stuff going on in everyone's lives - I think we are forgetting to laugh.

So here I am, drinking my second glass of wine and almost everything and anything is funny to me right now. So, hopefully these Dumb Criminal Acts will bring, at the very least, a giggle to you:

Cut Wrong - South Carolina

An angry man walked into his local police station and threw a bag of cocaine on the counter. He told the desk sergeant that it was a substandard cut and demanded that dealer he bought it form be arrested.

You Mean You Had To Lift The Hood? - San Antonio, Texas

Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic found eighteen packages of marijuana packed in the engine compartment of the car. The woman, who had taken her car in for an oil change said that she did not realize he would have to lift the hood to get the job done.

No Warrant - Pontiac, Michigan

Charged with drug-possession, Christopher Johns claimed that he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer did not need a warrant because a bulge in Johns's jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day. When he handed the judge the jacket, a bag of cocaine fell out. The judge required a five minute recess so that he could gain his composure.


Kidnappers abducted Gildo Santos near his factory in a suburb of Sao Paulo and demanded $690,000 for ransom. Santos, however, escaped. The next day, Santos got a phone call asking for $11,500 to defray the cost of the abduction. After negotiating a 50 percent reduction, Santos called police, when the abductors showed up to collect payment.

Less Than Before - Unknown

A man walked into a convenience stores and placed a twenty dollar bill on the counter, asking for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the robber pulled out a gun, demanding all the cash in the register. Quickly, the clerk acquiesced and the man fled, leaving the twenty on the counter. The total amount of money he got from the cash register was less than fifteen dollars.

What He Should Have done - Oklahoma City, OK

Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store when he decided to fire his attorney. Oklahoma City District Attorney said Newton was doing a decent job until the store manage testified that Newton was indeed the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, " I should have blown your ***bleep*** head off" The defendant paused then added "If I had been the one that was there." The jury deliberated for twenty minutes before returning a verdict of guilty and recommended a sentence of thirty years.

Look Who Is Beside You - Unknown

A man went into a convenience store and bought a bottle of beer. Standing at the counter to pay, he tells the clerk to give him all the money she has. Standing next to him was a uniformed police officer.

Forget Something? - Kentucky

Two men tried to pull the front off an ATM by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the panel off the machine, however, they pulled the bumper off the truck. Scared, they left the scene of the crime. Their bumper, along with their license plate was still attached to the ATM.

Hefty Bag Holes - Unknown

A man went into a drug store and announced his intentions to commit robbery. He pulled a Hefty-bag over his face to conceal his identity. He did not, however, cut eyeholes in the mask and was tackled by a brave customer.

Stuck - Virginia

Two men went to a new subdivision and decided to steal a refrigerator. Destroying walls and floors, they snatched a fridge from one of the houses and placed it on the back of their pickup truck. At that time, the truck became bogged down in the mud. The men decided the refrigerator was too heavy so they put it back in the house. When they returned to the truck, they realized the keys had been left in the ignition and the doors were lock. They left the running truck at the scene of the crime.

And with this, I will leave you. But try to laugh a little - it helps to break some of the monotony of life - Jessie

Edited 3/28/2003 9:05:25 PM ET by jlwhitmore

Avatar for ladebs
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 8:26pm
Once a CL, always a CL! At heart at least! Well Jessie, my friend, I am home all alone tonight and I feel like being a bit silly myself - so I believe I will join you in a glass of wine!

Let the giggles begin!



Avatar for kitstunning
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 11:07pm
Jessie, those are some of the best laughs I've had this week. It's been a stressful week at work, just too much to get done, we are even working tomorrow and we haven't done that in over a year. Then thinking of my nephew heading for Iraq tomorrow is also very stressful, even though we knew it was coming, it doesn't make it any easier.

Thanks again for the giggles, I think ALL OF US can use a few giggles with everything that's been going on. Maybe I'll join you and Deb with that glass of wine.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 12:51am
Thank you for the laughs, those were great!!!!!Hefty bag....LOLOLOLOLOL!!!




Avatar for judy77
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 6:49am
These are Funny Thank You Jessie for sharing these My DH Loves These