Coping with religious families?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Coping with religious families?
5
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 7:40am
So as part of the respect that I show my parents I make it a point to attend church with them every Mothers Day and every Fathers Day. While I dont agree with the churches teachings I do go on those 2 days for my parents. So this particular Mothers Day was hard for me even though mine and dhs fertility battle has been going on for 5 years. I think it was hard because of the lack of respect that is shown to me and him and the fact of my disturbing endometriosis diagnosis this past December. But anyways, I went yesterday with my mom and I just couldnt believe the minister. He kept going on about how the mothers place was in the home taking care of the children and that a woman in the bible desperately wanted children and all she had to do was pray to god and he blessed her with a child. All the while starring at me, or at least it felt like he was starring at me. I dont understand why people put so much faith in something that may or may not exist? And if he does exist than why are there so many people in this world that want to be parents but their only option is to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars that they probably dont have just to get one but yet there are people out there that dont want kids but are having them all the time? Before I left the christian faith I prayed daily for the blessings of a little baby in mine and dhs life and was never answered, than I have a surgery that tells me that if I want children I better hurry and have them because before to long I am going to have to undergo a hysterectomy. Im sorry I dont mean to go on about my problems I just dont know how to cope with my religious family or their church. One day I have my mom telling me about how I shouldnt be jealous that my 15 year old cousin is having a baby and how wonderful her baby shower was and that Im not a good parent so I dont need anymore kids anyways to she appreciates and respects me all because we are sitting there in church. I get so sick and tired of all the fake people out there. If you love your god and believe in your god than fine, but dont be one way one day and another way another day all because your sitting in church. OK Im done with my rant but does anyone have to deal with religious families? Thanks for listening.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 8:49pm

I don't think that the problem here is "religious" families, per se, but the insensitivity we often see about the issue of infertility. The minister's comments are demeaning, and I honestly don't think that is the norm, as I haven't heard that in most main-stream churches, either. Your famiily doesn't seem to "get" your pain, and this is SO common with infertility issues :-(

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 11:38pm

I have an overly religious mother-in-law and it really bothers her that my family and I won't attend church with her.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2006
Tue, 06-29-2010 - 9:06pm

I have two parts of my direct family (the rest have passed on) who I feel uncomfortable with as far as how I relate with them and religion in general.

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 5:49pm

Wow, that is tough.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Fri, 07-09-2010 - 1:58pm
Hi shadow, I am so sorry I have not been here to reply back to you. Things in my life have been extremely crazy and I just haven't had time for anything. I am so sorry to hear of your ill health. I do hope you are doing better! As far as your brother goes I would just tell him the truth and tell him that its your life and you can practice any religion of your choosing. After all that is why we have free will. I hope things go well for you. Take care, blessed be!



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