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|Sat, 06-05-2010 - 7:24pm|
I used to come here regularly about 4 years ago. Things happened and my life has just been not very fun for the past few years. I'm married to a great man but he's not understanding of my pagan leanings. His family is VERY Christian. They would not tolerate it at all. My family is for the most part estranged from me for other reasons. Some of them would be very welcoming, others would not.
So I've tried to suppress my views for the sake of peace. But I am not happy. We don't go to church even though my kids go with the grandparents occasionally. I am not against that. But it is not for me. I have gone and tried to be a good Christian. I can't do it. I have brought up the Unitarian church to DH and he won't have any of it. So I have not had any religion in my life to speak of for the last 4 years. I used to do some Wicca practices in secret. I would go in the woods and do a circle and do spells in secret. It made me feel good but a little guilty at having to hide it. I feel it's just not worth the upheaval it will cause if I come out in the open. So I stopped doing anything and tried to believe the way my DH and his family do. They are very strong personalities.
But not doing anything has made me feel worse. I feel empty. The church they go to is so superficial and hypocritical. The people there I believe mean well but I cannot justify their preachings with their actions sometimes.
I have libertarian political views. I don't agree with a lot of things liberals do, but I do believe that gay people should have the same rights as anybody else to marry and to raise children. I don't believe the govt. should be able to tell a woman she can't abort a child but i do believe it is ending a human life. If the woman can live with that it is her business.
So I have some views that don't necessarily align with the typical pagan, however I am undeniably drawn to paganism.
Is there a place for me? Can I find fulfillment without destroying my family life? I would love to talk to someone who has been in the same situation perhaps or close to it.