QOTW: Caring What Others Think About You

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2008
QOTW: Caring What Others Think About You
12
Sun, 06-21-2009 - 12:22am
How much do you care what others think about you? Can you be completely open and honest with others when it comes to your spiritual path or do you hide certain parts of yourself away from others? Are you worried about what others will think about you if they knew what spiritual path you follow? Do you dress or speak differently around different people? When others visit your home do you feel the need to hide away certain books, statues, supplies, etc., because you think the other people would be offended or just not understand?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2008
Sun, 06-21-2009 - 1:13am

I care more than I want to sometimes. I do hide my books, any altar items, etc, but I do have a greenman door knocker ;)


There was a time when I did not take down any of it or have it put away and my kids lost friends because of it. It is sad and not the child who came over's issue, but the parents who didn't want their child hanging out and exposed

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
Sun, 06-21-2009 - 2:59am

For the most part, I don't really care whether other people approve of me or not. This is who I am and the people who demand that I pretend to be anyone or anything that I'm not as a condtion for them to be my "friend" or to "accept" me aren't people I can trust and their "friendship/acceptance" isn't real. However, while I don't go out of my way to hide my spiritual beliefs and practices, I don't go out of my way to shove my beliefs and practices down everyone's throats either. I respect that some people may be offended or even feel genuine fear if they become aware of my beliefs and they may not be interested in educating themselves and finding out what I'm really about.


As far as how I dress and speak, I don't change anything because I don't need to. I dress in whatever is appropriate for whatever I'm doing. If I'm cleaning house, I wear jeans and a t-shirt, if I'm socializing, I wear whatever I feel good in. For any ritual or Magickal workings, I wear something loose fitting and comfortable. I do have a specific set of attire for local events in the Magickal community, but I've worn it into convenience stores and the like. If people stare, I've never noticed it.


When people come to my home I don't feel that I should have to hide anything for the same reason people who have crosses

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-21-2009 - 3:24pm

I don't exactly hide who I am, but I've never been all that open either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
Sun, 06-21-2009 - 3:31pm

I don't share my beliefs with others. I don't hide them if they ask, but I soft-pedal the fact that there is no way in Hades Id be a member of their church, etc...

MOST people I am friendly with know of my avoidance of organized religion; others have enough sense to not proselytize. I can only think of one that bugs me and I refuse to discuss the issue with him.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Sun, 06-21-2009 - 9:11pm
How much do you care what others think about you? Very little
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 06-21-2009 - 9:13pm

How much do you care what others think about you?
I care but I don't obsess about it too much.

Can you be completely open and honest with others when it comes to your spiritual path or do you hide certain parts of yourself away from others?
It depends on the person I am talking to. With some people I can be open. With others I am more discreet. I tend to keep my spiritual/religious beliefs to myself unless asked.

Are you worried about what others will think about you if they knew what spiritual path you follow?
Not really.

Do you dress or speak differently around different people?
Not really. I do cover up myself more when appropriate but it's not as though I run around wearing skimpy clothes.

When others visit your home do you feel the need to hide away certain books, statues, supplies, etc., because you think the other people would be offended or just not understand?
No. It's my home and I'm pretty selective about who come in the door.

























iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Mon, 06-22-2009 - 8:28am

I don't really care what other people think about me. Not that it doesn't hurt if someone doesn't like me over something silly but in the end it is their loss. I really like the saying I saw somewhere "I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not" I live by that. I will not change who I am to please someone else.

And since I have the expectation that people should like me the way I am I like people the way they are. There are people I don't like but it's not from something like what they believe or how they dress or how they talk, it's just a personalities thing.

I would be bored out of my mind if I only liked people that were the same as me. Bored or Scared... I think one of me is enough. LOL.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-22-2009 - 2:48pm

The only people I hide anything from is my immediate family (as in my Mother, Father, sister and brother) and only because they are all extremely Catholic and my parents are having a hard enough time with me being lesbian, that telling them I am Pagan would kill them.


As far as everyone else goes, I dont care what they think. I have bumper stickers on my car that say I am Pantheist.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2005
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 11:51am

How much do you care what others think about you?

I do care a little. I've come a long way from the girl who wanted more than anything to be accepted by others. The lessons learned through that, and a wonderful friend, are what finally allowed me to be much more open about myself in general.

Can you be completely open and honest with others when it comes to your spiritual path or do you hide certain parts of yourself away from others?

No, I find I'm not completely open and honest with others. Most aquaintences are simply told, "I don't go to church," or "I'm not Christian." I live in a very small town, where most of the population goes to the same church. Usually the second question you're asked upon meeting someone(after "What's your name?") is, "What church do you go to?" It's hard enough for some of them to understand that I don't go to church. I can't imagine what would happen to their heads if they tried to understand anything more about my path.
Most of my friends know, the ones that don't I don't think would be bothered by it. It just never came up, and it was not necessary for them to know.
Most of my family does not know, though I do think that a good number of them would be upset if they did know.

Are you worried about what others will think about you if they knew what spiritual path you follow?

Oddly enough, considering how many people I just haven't told, I'm not. I am no different than the person they knew before they knew this about me. I usually keep that information to myself and let them get to know me before their misconceptions of my path cloud their judgement, if they have any. I find it usually becomes a non-issue at that point. Hypocritical, I know, since I still won't tell most of my family...

Do you dress or speak differently around different people?

Well, I do have a small pentacle that I wear almost every day. I used to keep it hidden at work, but it would pop out every now and then. Once was in front of a high school girl. It turns out she is trying to find her path, which can be hard for someone in this area. I realized that it seemed to make her feel better to know she wasn't alone. Since then, I've not hidden it around town. It's so small, I doubt most notice it. For those that do, she's the only one who has said anything.

When I go back home, I do keep it hidden from most of the family. My father would never understand, and honestly it would be just far too much stress and worry for him. I also keep my tattoo hidden from him, as it's just not worth the fight. He's in his 70's, and I am 30 and his baby. The generational difference is hard enough sometimes without throwing "extra" stuff at him.

I don't find myself really speaking differently too much. I don't talk about the sabbats with others, and usually refer to the Christian holidays when they come up. I may throw a "Happy Solstice" or something in every once in a while, but not often. I guess it's more I don't "speak Pagan" more than the other way around. : )

When others visit your home do you feel the need to hide away certain books, statues, supplies, etc., because you think the other people would be offended or just not understand?

I don't have much in the way of statues and supplies hanging about. Of the statues I do have, one is in my bedroom, which few people see, and the other is in the room that the cats stay in at night. As for books, they do get put away. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable to come into my home. Plus, it is just tidier! However, if they happen to stop by while I'm reading one, I don't hide it.

If I had more than I do, I am not sure I'd be running around trying to hide it all when company is due. Because of my rambunctious cats, not much would likely be out anyway.

Okay way too much rambling...Sorry!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2008
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 2:38pm
I'm a person who has one foot inside the broom closet and one foot outside. My friends and family know that I'm a Pagan. However, since I live in the buckle of the Bible Belt, I'm very careful who knows my religion. I live in a very conservative, Christian-oriented state. The city itself that I live in is a little more liberated than most of the state. However, this is a state where an openly Wiccan woman had her house and car vandalized, her children threatened and her pets killed because she was a Pagan living in a small town. Since she wasn't a native of the state, she didn't realize that living openly as a Wiccan was only inviting trouble. Sad that is the way things are here, but freedom of religion doesn't really, compltely, totally exist, except on paper.

Because of certain incidents in my childhood/teen years I don't advertise myself. I prefer to blend in the woodwork. So I don't wear Pagan style clothes or jewelry. Since I'm not a Wiccan nor a Witch, the pentacle isn't one of my symbols anyway and I think that's the only Pagan symbol that the general public recognizes. So if anyone was to see me on the street they wouldn't know that I was a Pagan. And besides, since so many others do know that I'm a Pagan and accept me for one, then that is what matters.

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