With ALL my Heart and Courage
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|Sun, 11-24-2013 - 2:23am|
I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We broke up a few times. But this time, I thought we were stable and I live with him and his family. His family is really nice to me and they are family I never had.
My family is unloving and unsuppotive.
So my mind lies to my heart. I lie and say that my boyfriend is the one. He's a really good guy. He lend me $2,250 to pay off my credit card debt. He cooks for me and does my errands. I just feel very disconnected from him. My heart is not there.
I am a writer, teacher and trying to be a life coach. He's unemployed and is a horrible writer. I write stories and articles and he doesn't know how to appreciate them.
I live with him out of cheap rent. I adore his family and I love him (I feel like I love him as a father figure).
I had session with a life coach and she felt sad for me that all my life I was so alone and that I strived so strongly. She told me to: 1) write down all the good things people say about me and etc......4) for 2 hours a week, seek a supportive community and spend 2 hours a week with them.
She is basically saying: find a "family" and a "sense of belonging." That sense of belonging is from my boyfriend's family and boyfriend.
I need words of support and encouragement.
My boyfriend gave me a car and that's how I jump started my business as a private teacher. I need 1) my own car 2) my own home 3) pay him $2,250 back + maintain my money
I suffer bipolar (take meds regularly and have therapy), my parents never celebrated my birthday, I suffered lots of low self esteem, etc... BUT I don't want to be limited