With ALL my Heart and Courage

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
With ALL my Heart and Courage
Sun, 11-24-2013 - 2:23am

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years.  We broke up a few times.  But this time, I thought we were stable and I live with him and his family.  His family  is really nice to me and they are family I never had.

My family is unloving and unsuppotive.

So my mind lies to my heart.  I lie and say that my boyfriend is the one.  He's a really good guy.  He lend me $2,250 to pay off my credit card debt.  He cooks for me and does my errands.  I just feel very disconnected from him.  My heart is not there.

I am a writer, teacher and trying to be a life coach.  He's unemployed and is a horrible writer.  I write stories and articles and he doesn't know how to appreciate them. 

I live with him out of cheap rent.  I adore his family and I love him (I feel like I love him as a father figure).

I had  session with a life coach and she felt sad for me that all my life I was so alone and that I strived so strongly.  She told me to: 1) write down all the good things people say about me and etc......4) for 2 hours a week, seek a supportive community and spend 2 hours a week with them. 

She is basically saying: find a "family" and a "sense of belonging."  That sense of belonging is from my boyfriend's family and boyfriend. 

I need words of support and encouragement.

My boyfriend gave me a car and that's how  I jump started my business as a private teacher.  I need 1) my own car  2) my own home  3) pay him $2,250 back + maintain my money

I suffer bipolar (take meds regularly and have therapy), my parents never celebrated my birthday, I suffered lots of low self esteem, etc... BUT I don't want to be limited
















Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 11-25-2013 - 5:37pm

I think realizing what you need to do is the hardest step.  I agree that it's important for you to work on finding a support system outside of your boyfriend's family and work on moving out of his house.  If he is unemployed, are you helping to support him at all?  I know you can do this, just keep a positive attitude and work on expanding your horizons.  (((HUGS)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Thu, 12-05-2013 - 7:06pm

I don't support him at all with money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2013
Thu, 01-30-2014 - 5:39am
I think your boy friend is a great guy, who completely supported you in your trying times. Now prospects are looking good for you so that does not mean that you should think about leaving him. It is your turn to love and support him completely and unconditionally the way he did.