Frequent Run-Ins With Ex..What to do??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2011
Frequent Run-Ins With Ex..What to do??
4
Sun, 03-06-2011 - 9:09pm

I'm 24 and have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. I love him very much and think that we will be getting engaged soon. The only problem is that my ex-boyfriend (the relationship I was in before meeting my current bf)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 10:54am

You say you're over it, but I don't think you are. Certainly not enough to be friends again. I think deep down you know this...

Are you a bad person?? NO!!! You are a human being and we're subject to sometimes having feelings we don't really like or agree with logically. I don't know if your feelings "mean" anything further than having some unresolved questions. Was the ex in question your first boyfriend?

How long ago did your ex move back?

I think maybe you are giving too much power to your thoughts and feelings. Maybe it will take time for them to go away - In a way, it is a "trauma" to have this person back in your life after years of moving on

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 11:02am
No, I don't think you're a bad person for feeling the way you do. It sounds like the relationship ended a bit traumatically for you. It actually sounds pretty "normal" to feel this way, in my opinion.

If it was me, I wouldn't be friends with him. You've moved on, and I would just leave that chapter closed. I wouldn't avoid places where he might be, but I wouldn't seek him out either.

Hopefully, some others will provide their thoughts as well. Welcome to the board!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2011
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 6:13pm

You are definitely not over your ex yet. A mighty contradiction to your claim. Being a girl I understand your situation a lot, I've been with that mess before. My advice is stop being close to your ex again. Get a life and move on. You are still into him and that's troubling you. However, you"ve been hurt before, the thought of being with him is a sign of your desperate longing to be with him. Spare your self from further traumatic event by focusing on your current bf who truly loves you. Please see this problem here and maybe you will have an idea on your situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2011
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 1:03pm

For OnlineDating to tell her to "get a life" is a bit offensive. It doesn't sound like she sits around just pining for his phone call.

It sounds like you have a great thing going right now with your current boyfriend. Stick with him and ignore the guy who broke your heart.