HELP!!! rude & disrespectful roommates

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
HELP!!! rude & disrespectful roommates
5
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 7:22pm

hi,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Welcome to the board, confident_resilient!!! Great to have you here!!

Having roomates in general can be a great task. However, when roomates are going through personal issues it just adds to the mix. IMHO, I don't feel like they have so much against you. Their minds are more on their personal lives. True enough, we all tend to not show our gratitude like we should. Deep down that dosen't mean they are not thankful for what you do. I'm pretty sure if you left the mess until they cleaned it, they would show more appreciation. This could just be a phase they are going through. I really don't charge actions to age because age is only a number. Some 21 year olds are care free and don't handle responsibilities like they should while others take on more than an older person. If it is such a hassle, I think you should let them know that you would like a little more help around the house. Other than that I would be thankful things are not worse!
How long have you all been roomates?

Looking forward to hearing from you:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
If it was me, I wouldn't worry about whether or not they like me or not. IMO, a roommate's main function is to share expenses. It's unfortunate they don't say thank you or hello, but maybe manners aren't something that were instilled in them while growing up. If both of them are depressed, then they probably aren't very happy with themselves. If that's the case, there's nothing you can do about that (I'd just continue to be polite and go about life as usual). They say that misery loves company, so I'd be careful and not let them drag you down. Maybe they just need a positive presence in their lives, too.

How long have you been roommates? Will the living situation change when the lease is up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
thank you for your reply. I should be thankful that things are not worse. before that I had a roommate, male. He had a crush on me and i liked him as a friend. he was mentally ill, and illegally kicked me out. he told me, "I want you to move out.." everyday. And my feelings were hurt, and felt our friendship is rejected. So I moved out.

Roommate after that, he didn't give me the keys. He said I am on public transportation so people on the bus are ghetto and will steal the keys and come into his house and steal his precious stuff. this guy had a crush on me and was holding the keys over my head to make me like him in that way, but I didn't.

So...yea...THINGS CAN BE WORSE. IT WAS BEFORE and i've seen it!

I normally have a quiet master's bedroom all to myself. I have my own bathroom with a Jacuzzi tub.

I told my psychologist about my roommate problem. She told me..that I never complained about them before. I use to have bad boyfriends and when I sleep over, I can't wait to get home.

Now I have the BEST, SWEETEST, LOVING..etc..boyfriend ever. He lets me sleep over a lot and wants me over. He cooks, cleans and comforts me. his family is very polite to me.

I found that I have roommate problems now because I found better so looking back home and feeling lacking.

I don't believe in living with my boyfriend. We're not married.

I just need to learn to accept my roommates. They told me ... they like me... they are not friendly and don't do small talk. My boyfriend's family does and is friendly.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
thank you for your reply. I appreciate it. You're right!!! WHY should I worry about if they like me or not. I share expenses with them.

I've lived with them for 2 years so far.

I need to make my living here more happy. If it means that much for cleaniness, then I need to stop worrying about cleaning up their mess.

I have my own master's bedroom. Worry about making that squeaky clean. like you said, I need to enjoy my own stay separate from the 2 roommates
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Have things improved?