his mom does his laundry ewww

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
his mom does his laundry ewww
9
Sun, 12-29-2013 - 12:27pm
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My boyfriend of 3 years (we broke up 3 times), his mom does his laundry.  He’s 33 and I am 28.  I did my own laundry at age 5.  It’s a huge turn off and I can’t deal with that.  I live with him because I was bad with money in the past and had to recover by paying cheap rent at his parents place.  He gave me a car and I don’t take the bus to work anymore.  So my monthly income increased $1500 because I have the car.

I feel so helpless.  He is a nice guy, faithful and respectful.  He has a lot of families and friends and I am not close to family at all.  And I have few friends.  I have nobody to talk to about this and this is why I am posting. 

My heart says, he is a great guy.  But he is not for me.  We grew up so different, we won’t understand each other.  My heart says leave. 

My heart says: Leave.  Rent my own place, make new friends and volunteer to find a sense of belonging.  I love his family a lot but the suitable guy can have loving family too. 

He’s a really good guy.  Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t feel we connect on an emotional and intellectual level.  The sex is good and he’s like a father figure to me. 

My heart says: If it’s not right, it’s not. 

But I read articles online on “when to break up”

We never cheat on each other.  We don’t hit or verbally abuse each other. 

 

What do you think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sun, 12-29-2013 - 1:44pm

I'm not sure what your question is!  His mom does his laundry?  That's his fault?  He's given you the world, he's provided you with a place to live and transportation so that you can earn a living.  He's respectful.  He doesn't abuse you.  His whole family has taken you in......and your problem is......?  You grew up different, so you won't understand each other?  You're doing a pretty good job of understanding how to take, take, take........and he understands that he must give, give, give.  The sex is good and he's a "father figure" to you?  That's sick in itself.  If you're so unhappy, give his car back, move out and stand on your own two feet.  You're not being held captive there are you?

PS:  I did the laundry for my sons until they left home.......a lot younger than 28 I might add.  Nothing ewwww about it!  Why?  Because they liked to run the washer for one shirt, or one pair of jeans that they wanted. I washed their diapers, so what's wrong with washing their clothes as long as they lived in my house?  By the way, who does  YOUR laundry? 

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Sun, 12-29-2013 - 2:58pm

You are living with this guy's parents, having sex under their roof, driving a car he gave you for free, and are complaining about pointless things.  A leech with an attitude.  You say you don't get along with your family, and have no friends.  I can see why.

Do these people a HUGE favor, and get out. 

BTW, my daughter is 32, been living in her own apt for YEARS, and untill she moved in with her fiancee, she brought her laundry home.  First, is was a riduclous waste of money to do a couple pieces of laundry.  Second, I much rathered she brought her clothes home, where she knew the washer & dryer were clean, and where I knew she was not going to be hit over the head, robbed or molested in some dark basement.  We did the clothes together.  Sometimes she ran the machines; sometimes I did.  Whoever pushed the buttons was immaterial.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Sun, 12-29-2013 - 3:01pm
PS: If you think you are going to live with someone, marry them, have children with them, and then have your spouse and 5 YEAR OLD children (yeah, right) doing their own laundry, you are in for a giant surprise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2013
Thu, 01-02-2014 - 1:45am
I appreciate your honesty, you expressed your situation clearly and truthfully. I promise I won't judge you but from your description, I also feel that you have a dream boy friend.You must remember, you will get a perfect person or a perfect situation, but what you have got is quite close to it. Since he has made all the sacrifices and compromises for you, its your turn to follow suit. If he does not match you intellectually so what is the big deal, you make an effort to find out what he likes and also tell him what you like. Work on making this already superb relationship even better. If you are not convinced then go through many other stories of girls, who are pissed off by extremely non sensitive ways of their bf. So cutting the long story short, consider yourself blessed and do not even think about such a great guy slip from your life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Wed, 01-22-2014 - 12:56pm

I do my laundry and my boyfriend's

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Wed, 01-22-2014 - 12:56pm

I do my laundry and my boyfriend's

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Wed, 01-22-2014 - 1:00pm
Sometimes I need an eye opener. Thank you! Maybe I am a little cynical.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Wed, 01-22-2014 - 1:02pm
I am not offended at your comment. Really. I needed the eye opener.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Wed, 01-22-2014 - 1:14pm
His parents are so good to me. They make me food to pack to go to work. Maybe a part of me is "blind" and don't want to be dependent. But my life situation says I am. I will work on getting my own place. So if his house becomes too over crowded (with his relatives sleeping over), he and his family can sleep over at my home down the street. I will move somewhere nice and close. I don't talk to my friends about this drama. Maybe I don't because it's too stupid and I am afraid to be judged. So I say it online, anonymously..... Maybe a few of my friends are tired of hearing my non-sense. I've realized that I am wrong. I've taken the wrong turn in life. I've never got any birthday presents or parties as a child or felt loved. I've grew this ATTITUDE that things must cater to me to make up for the lacking. But I don't have to be this way. I don't care of all of you are "pointing at me" and saying how selfish I am. I was. (past tense) But I won't be anymore. My past is behind me. I won't be bitter about it anymore. My past (feeling unloved) has made me more loving. I am good with the kids in his relative's family. They all love me. I will turn my past into something positive. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE EYE OPENER!!!! EVERYONE!!!