i don't know what to do!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
i don't know what to do!
3
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 12:22pm
Hello! i'm new to this message board thing, but i thought it might help... i've been seeing this guy for about a month now. we're about an hour and a half apart, but we see each other quite a bit on weekends. the thing is, i haven't been in many relationships, and have never told a guy i loved him. a couple weeks into the relationship, he started telling me he loved me, and making references to the future. I mentioned something about moving too fast, but he doesn't think he is. he wants to see me every weekend, but that cuts into a lot of friends, family, and alone time. i don't want to hurt his feelings, since i do care about him a lot. And i feel that if i say something, he'll be offended because i was "going along with it" until now. i am 20 years old and not prepared to launch into anything reeeallly serious with long term commitment. Please help! Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 1:31pm
Outlook: Not so good. At most, 4 weekends together? Saying "I love you" is WAAAAAY premature. Don't feel bad about offending this guy b/c if he does, you'll know he's not worth it. Put your foot down right now and don't think twice. You need a guy who's going to tell you he loves you when he means it, not when he wants to continue seeing you... that's just wacky. You also need a guy who doesn't live and breathe "you". Having a life of your own is important to you, don't you think it's just as important for him to feel the same way? I see red flags all over the place with this guy... he seems desparate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 1:37pm
If you aren't honest and up front with yourself and this guy right now you are going to so regret it. The more time that passes with you doing things his way and trying not to upset him, the harder it will be for you to say or do anything at all. You need to be honest with him. If you really care about him, it's the least you can do. He may be hurt by what you have to say but in the long run you will be doing him a big favor. Just tell him what you want from a relationship and where you stand. Who knows...maybe he will be agreeable and it will still work out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 2:05pm
Hey you're me! Was just in your shoes, but took them off. The only thing I can say is be HONEST and TRUTHFUL. Believe me if you're not sure, tell him. It'll only get worse if you let things go as usual. And I guarantee it will hurt both of you that much more. If he's mature enough and really cares about you he will slow down for you and himself too.