I dont know what it all is

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2010
I dont know what it all is
8
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 12:58am

So last night I went on a second date with a guy, we met on a dating site, have quite a bit in common and seemed to get a long really well. We went bowling, then for coffee after. I am 19 he is 21, I can't trust guys I just always meet ones who only want one thing and I'm left hurt everytime. This one does seem different, when we first started messaging and said goodnight hope to talk soon he jokingly said if you lucky, my reply was I'm never lucky so i guess it was nice talking to you then, as a joke of course. Any way last night when he dropped me off had a makeout session in the car before I hoped out and said that we will talk soon, if i'm lucky that is i guess, with his reply being no of course you will.



He messaged me I'm guessing it was when he got home saying goodnight shelly (i dislike being called shelly so much and had told him that night hense why he said it i think just to tease)



I havent heard anything from him today it is now 3pm should I wait till around 5 then maybe message him? I'm not one to do things all traditional, I was the one the actually provoked the second date and he said he liked that. Could he be waiting for me? I need advice please I'm so stuck in the middle here!

Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 4:38pm
I think you're getting a little too clingy - you've only had 2 dates and you can't expect him to be in constant contact with you. And if you try to initiate constant contact, you'll only drive him away. Just relax and go with the flow.



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2010
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 11:23pm

Ignore the other response - you aren't being too clingy. I think you're just anxious and excited so you aren't sure what to do. This is the 21st century and initiating phone calls and dates is acceptable for a woman. I would wait a total of 2 days per initiation if he isn't interacting with you. That's usually an acceptable time frame for dating. You don't want to overwhelm him but you need to make sure he knows you're interested. As I said, it's the 21st century and more men want women to step up to the plate. I initiated the first 2 dates between me and my boyfriend when we first met and we are still together almost 5 years later. Men like a woman who has her own mind and doesn't sit around waiting for him to call - not all men find that attractive. Like I said, wait 2 days to call or text and I'm sure he'll be thrilled that you called and you won't seem too desperate.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 7:55pm
It hasn't even been 24 hours.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2010
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 7:27pm

Um, Okay... which is why the previous poster very clearly stated wait about 2 days. What's the problem? Explain your simple response of, "It hasn't even been 24 hours." Your response has no merit.

I agree with the second response. She is absolutely right! You aren't too clingy you are just nervous/anxious and whatnot. Wait a few days and then contact him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 9:35pm

"Your response has no merit."

Rather judgmental, don't you think?

My response was an indication that it might be a good idea to step back and look at how little time it's actually been since they last spoke. 24 hours is very very short.

Hopefully tomorrow you can get up on the other side of the bed...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2010
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 1:42am

Please don't be the overly sensitive type! That's too much to deal with... having to tiptoe around people's feelings. I woke up on the exact side of the bed I was supposed to.

I gave a very precise response which obviously offended you. Sorry!

Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 7:10am
LOL undercover crab is anything but overly sensitive! She has actually been banned from the site several times for being too harsh.



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2010
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 12:57pm

You clearly like him so it's completely normal to get super excited and nervous about who's going to text who next and when the best time to do it is. Since this is only after your second date, I think you're best bet is to wait a little bit longer before responding. In my experience, it never hurts to wait while contacting quickly can get you in trouble. If he's super interested, he'll either contact you again on his own or be all the more excited when you do finally reach out to him. If he's more 'on the fence' then waiting to text shows him that you're relaxed about the situation and not trying to rush anything.

If it were me, I'd wait a few days then send a short message referencing something you talked about on the date (like,'hi - how was the test?')

I hate the wait though - it's killer. Good luck!