I don't like my boyfriend's place...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
I don't like my boyfriend's place...
3
Sun, 08-29-2010 - 1:10pm

This is such a silly little problem between my boyfriend and I...but it bothers my boyfriend and I would like to know if there is anything I can say to him to make him feel better.

I am in my 20's and he's in his 30's. I still live with my mom and dad and he moved back in with his parents a few years ago for financial reasons. He is in the room above the garage. It's not an actual apartment. There is no kitchen and there is a lot of his parent's belongings scattered all over the room. Also, he himself is not the neatest person (compared to me at least).

So anyway, I have slept over his place numerous times in the past. However, I don't really care for it. It's very messy in my opinion and tight. He bought himself a mini fridge so we can store some stuff...but it's just not the same as an actual kitchen or kitchenette. He has a twin size bed which is too small for the two of us to sleep in...but he also has a pull out that rises up so we can put the two beds together. The only thing is it makes the room even more tight.

I would prefer to just drive home and sleep in my own room in my mom and dad's place (no place like home, right?). He feels bad about it because apparently all I should care about is that we are together...and I shouldn't nit pick at the little things. However, I just don't feel comfortable and 'at home' in his place. His parents are not an issue at all...we all get along, plus they are in the main house. If they are not at home for whatever reason, then we will stay in the main house and I have no problem with that. It is just the room above the garage.

Just last night, we picked his mom up at the airport and didn't get back to his place until 3AM. Of course it would have made sense if I just slept over given the time...but I really didn't want to and chose to take the 25-30 minute drive home. This sparked the conversation again as to why I don't like staying over. My boyfriend does go out of his way and tries to make me feel 'at home' by sprucing up the place, but it's not working. It needs a woman's touch if you know what I mean. :)

What should I tell him because this will probably come up again in the future?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 1:10pm
Just tell him: I appreciate you trying to make your place more comfortable for me, but it just isn't really working. I'd rather get a better sleep at home and I think it will be that way until one or both of us are able to move out and get our own places. I hope you can understand that it's just a comfort issue and it doesn't have anything to do with my feelings for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 2:12pm
I agree with undercovercrab. Just tell him the truth. The space is too small, and you just don't sleep well there. Does he have any idea how long it should take him to get back on his feet so he can move out of his parents' house?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 7:57pm

Well actually I do sleep fine. I'm not tossing and turning during the night. It's just the atmosphere.

He is hoping to move out in 2011. He wanted a career change so he went back to school. It's expensive of course and his parents aren't even charging him rent...so it really helps him out financially.