Is it just stress or something more?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2010
Is it just stress or something more?
8
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 11:54am

I don't know where to begin. I just seem to be angry about everything in my life. I realize that my problems may not constitute as "real" problems to someone else, but in my life they are real problems. I am just overwhelmed with everything in my life and am not sure how to start to fix them or to at least feel differently about them. I just know that I have my problems on my mind all day and they keep me up at night. I feel angry about my problems, but I never let anyone know how upset I am. I put on the fake smile, say everything is great and go on. I really would like to talk to someone about them, but I'm not sure where to start. Getting professional help is not really an option for me due to my financial situation so I figured posting on here would at least be a start. I'm not embarassed of anything in my life, so please feel free to ask anything. I just want to feel better and to stop feeling so angry and frustrated and ready to cry at the drop of a hat because of it all. I really hope to hear back from someone soon....I want to feel happiness again.....

-Baby Girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 4:37pm

Hi babygirl, I want to validate you first and foremost and let you know that ALL feelings are real feelings, and there is no shame at all in whatever you are feeling. You are human being... Anger is a normal emotion. Feelings can be really strange sometimes, that doesn't make them wrong. They exist for a reason.

I really, really wish you could find a professional... This is exactly what therapists are for.

Can you tell us more specifically what it is that triggers anger? Is it a physical feeling for you? Is it always related to other people, or any people in particular? Do you have anyone in your life like a friend who you can trust with your feelings?

I have a therapist myself and it has taken a while in order for me to realize that I need her because I don't feel SAFE expressing myself, and my weirdest, deepest feelings, to anyone involved in my life.

Maybe we can give you some good book recommendations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2010
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 11:50pm

Ok, this is going to be really long, but maybe this will give you an idea about why I'm feeling the way that I do.....so here it goes......

For starters, no, I don't have any friends that I can talk to. Technically I have 3 friends...2 are old high school friends that still live in Florida, (I live in Ohio now). I might speak to them once a month by IM. My other friend is someone from childhood that I might bump into every 6 months at the grocery store. I am a stay at home Mom....literally. I might get out of the house 4 times a month, which is once a week on my husband's payday,

-Baby Girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2010
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 12:56pm

Hi babygirl, i've read your entire post. i just want you to know that we are the same age to start of and

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2010
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 5:03pm

Thanks for the insight. My issues with my kids are simply the fact that they don't listen to ME. They listen to my husband and are perfectly fine out in public, and I've tried all the tricks I know. I used to be a preschool teacher.....I know all the ins and outs of how daycares work, which is why I refuse to put my children in one. I have my high school diploma and have also taken classes at the local vocational school, but school just isn't for me. I'm trying to build my own business from home. I've done the 9-5 thing, worked in the office, worked in daycares, done waitressing and call centers. My passion is my business, but things got put on hold this past year with all of my family drama. That and the fact that any connections I had in the past were mutual friends of my sisters, so when everything went down hill with my sister, so did my business contacts, because of course, I was turned into the bad guy. And besides, I can't put my kids in daycare because the state says my husband makes too much money so they can't help us, but we can't afford to pay out of pocket for them to go to preschool....even part time. We are inside that group of people that the state says are too rich to get help, but not rich enough to actually have anything or be able to do anything.It just seems like no matter which direction I turn, there are walls up with signs saying 'no entry". I did finally sit down with my husband last night and have a long talk with him, letting him know what I have been feeling and dealing with lately and he agreed that he should be stepping up to take care of things, so when he gets home this evening, we have a date to make a to-do list for him. He tried at first to just tell me to do it, but I told him it wasn't fair to leave it all up to me when I have enough problems to try and figure out, so he agreed to go through our problems and see what he can do to fix them. It's not a gigantic step, but it's something.....I will let you know if we actually get something done. lol. But thank you for the advice, and the reminder that I can't be a door mat. Ur right....if I continue to let people walk all over me, I will never get anywhere and I will always feel this way. I thought I had stood up for myself months ago when I took charge and made my sister move out, but I'm learning that I still have a long ways to go.....

-Baby Girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 8:07pm

(((hugs)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2010
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 10:36pm

Thank you for the support....I'm glad I posted on here. I really feel like just telling my problems and knowing that others have read them and are really trying to understand where I'm coming from and are actually responding, trying to give advice, I am feeling a lot better. I have actually been a little more relaxed since I posted and I feel a little more in control. I certainly hope it continues....I am grateful for the support I am getting and hopefully I will begin to see some changes in my life real soon. Much love to everyone!!!

-Baby Girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2010
Sun, 10-24-2010 - 3:20pm

So I had a talk with my hubby. We worked through a couple issues and he has kept his word. He has been taking care of some things as time allows him....he has been working quite a bit lately so it's been hard to find the time to make the calls....unless making phone calls at 3 in the morning is ok. (lol) I have been keeping my distance from my extended family and i seem to have less stress. I didn't realize how wound up I was with them......in short, things are going a lot better. I will post more soon....but I gotta go for now....Mommy duty calls!

-Baby Girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 1:21pm

I'm so glad things are looking up.