I've done all i can do....

Avatar for rocchic20
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
I've done all i can do....
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 2:45pm
heya girls....its me again...the saga continues with my "guy"...as i said before i was kinda confused about where our relationship stood...alot of u said i should just ride it out and some of u said to confront him about it...well i kinda decided to just go with the flow...and i dont know...lately ever since he's gotten back from a trip he'd taken...he's been acting kinda withdrawn...we didnt talk for like 5 days when he was gone...that was hard...atleast for me it was...anyways i was talking to him yesterday and i told him that i missed him and not talking to him was killer...all he said was 'wow'...so i said 'it freaks you out when i say things like 'i miss u' and 'i think about u'...he said yea...he's says that he isnt used to it...which i can kinda understand...he's been hurt before in the past...it just really seems like he's scared of me or something...not OF me but the idea of me actually caring about him and wanting to be with him...ive really been attemping to keep the lines of communication goin...we do talk about every other day if not everyday so thats good i suppose...another thing is i havent seen him in 2 weeks almost...i suggested we get together...and he said he might have some side jobs to do...so he cant make any promises...im like 'ok'...but he'll be real quick to go out with his buddies to a bar every night...its almost like he doesnt wanna see me or somethin...i dont know...maybe im blowing this out of proportion...maybe i just need to move on...i care about this guy...that much i know...if i didnt it wouldnt bother me so much...ive told him how i feel and everything and he just doesnt respond...things were so cool in the beginning...now its just like 'blah'...im just really frustrated....help u guys...give me some feedback...anything!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 4:02pm
Well, it sounds like he really wants a little space right now. I don't think you should give up on him, but you should really give him an OVERLOAD of space. Let him call, let him make the plans, let him be forced to call all the shots. Meanwhile, you are very busy with your friends... a newfound hobby... whatever. Just as long as you aren't calling, wanting to talk about "us", he'll probably realize just how much he misses you and start coming around. If he doesn't then something else is going on and you should move on anyways... but trust me, I've been on both sides of this situation before... it's a pretty classic case.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 8:34am
I haven't exactly been following your posts but just from what you posted here, it sounds to me like he doesn't want to see/date you anymore. I think he is giving you the cold shoulder so that he is letting you down easy. Unfortunately, he isn't being honest or clear. I would do him and yourself a favor and walk the other way. I don't mean to be too blunt here but I really think you are wasting your time.

Also, you may want to think about why it is that you "really care about this guy" yet he pays no attention to you and you are constantly begging for his affection.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 9:56pm
Somehow I think I am encountering the same problem as you do.

But i am luckier than you cos my guy told me very honestly that he doesnt want to commit to a relationship as he doesnt know where his career will lead to and also he is unsure of me. He said our character clashes and that he has phobias from past relationships.

He told me to give him some time.

I have decided to do that.

I have left him alone.. i told myself not to call him, ask him out anymore unless he is the one who calls or asks me to.

I have always been the one assuring him of my love, asking him out, calling him.

For once, I am tired and I do not want to do that anymore.

Guy friends have told me that men like gals who play hard to get. Kinda sad but true.

Maybe if u stopped being so assuring and clingy to him, he might realised your worth.

IF he doesnt, he is not meant to appreciate you.

Let him go even if it hurts.

Meanwhile.. the sun still has to shine.. : )

Avatar for naemi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 4:25am
I haven't followed all of the "before" posts either but you read my mind in your post, courage!! I think it sounds exactly like this. If someone goes out of his way to avoid bringing up "the subject" like this guy does, he's trying to tell you something. I know what it's like to care about a guy who just wants to dump you and move on, and trust me, better to realize how foolish you are for running after him now than later. If he wants you, he comes to YOU. He won't want you a single bit more if you always end up in his face and whining for attention and "don't you like me too"'s. He is acting the way he is acting for a reason. I suggest you leave him be like he wants. He can't be all that great if he treats you this way, either.