Lass Kiss Goodbye

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2007
Lass Kiss Goodbye
2
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 9:00pm
Ok, so I had a party at my house and me and all my friends had a lot to drink. Eventually everyone went home so my boyfriend went to bed, the last ones that stayed awake was me and my boyfriend's stepbrother. We were having a cigarette in the front porch, he put his arm around me because he thought i was cold. eventually he asked me to kiss him. Which I did. While we were kissing his younger brother opened the front door but he didn't see anything. So we just sat there talking to us as if nothing had happened, then later on i was trying to sleep on the couch and he came and lied next to me and he kissed me again, he said i was good kisser and we almost had sex, then he suddenly stopped and apologized profusely and said that it wasn't my fault and that i shouldn't blame myself for it. That night he brought a mattress and slept on the floor next to me.

That night we agreed to never speak of it again. For the first few days he couldn't even look at me in the face, he didn't avoid me but he never brought it up, and I'm glad he didn't, and i hope he never will. It's not that i didn't like it, it's just that it's wrong, and now i feel guilty because i wished i could go back and kiss him again.

I've been trying to forget about but I cant, we still hang out a lot but there's always an edge between us. He knows that I've been trying to break up with my boyfriend for along time, I used to confide in him and still do. We still spend a lot of time alone and he always seems to want to talk bout my views concerning relationships.

I've felt guilty since that night, and I know that what we did was beyond forgiveness, but i will never tell him what happened it will destroy my boyfriend and his relationship with his stepbrother.

I am the first to admit that I no longer love my boyfriend but I just cant bring myself to do it because I know that it will be too painful for both of us.

The worst part is that since that day I've spend more time with him than with my actual boyfriend, and even when i hang out with my boyfriend, he is always around, I catch him staring at me very often and he seems to go out of his way to stay alone with me, even before the kiss. But the worst part of this whole mess is that he also has a girlfriend and I know he cares for her the same way i care for his brother. And we both know that we could never be together.

I haven't told anyone, I just need some advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 11:06am

There's no such thing as "trying to break up", sounds like you're waiting on something. Why can't you break up with your boyfriend?

You're probably right that you can't be with this guy. You are attracted to one another and that's unfortunate, but the possibility of a relationship working out harmoniously is VERY slight. Not with his stepbrother. Not while you're both dating other people.

You're in a very messy situation right now because you can't break up with your boyfriend.

Maybe you will have to accept the fact that when you are able to leave your boyfriend, you'll have to move on from his stepbrother as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 12:39pm

As far as your boyfriend, you are gonna have to be the one to breakup with him. You don't love him anymore, and what you did with his step-brother makes you feel even more guilty. There's really no right or pain free way to breakup with him. If I were you, just do it face to face, and have a quick exit strategy. Tell him that you think he's a great person, however you don't feel the connection with him anymore, and that you need to move on. Trying to do it in the nicest way possible with the least amount of words, and cutting it off completely is the best thing to do.

With the step-brother, he sounds like a jerk, and there's no way of you ever...nor should you...be with this guy. He's got a GF and he's linked to your current BF, which makes it a mess for you.

Honestly, if I were you, I'd break up with the BF, stay away from the step-brother, and cut all ties with the both of them. Meaning, stop hanging with people that know both of them, stop going to parties where you associate with them or friends of theirs. It's best for you before you start a new RL that you have time to close that chapter in your life, and start fresh and clean.