Living together

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2013
Living together
Fri, 01-25-2013 - 10:07am

Have you ever lived with a boyfriend? I have been living with my boyfriend for 6 months and I feel like everything is going great. Our parents are now harrassing us to get married but he says he is not ready. I'm very disappointed because I felt that was where we were going in this relationship and now I'm completely confused about why we are living together. Am I rushing things?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2012
Fri, 01-25-2013 - 10:45am

No, I haven't... at least not yet. Right now, I enjoy having my own little oasis and I'm just not ready to give that up. Plus I haven't had that "this is the absolute ONE" feeling.

But let me ask... are you thinking about marriage simply because your families are pushing for the idea? Have you considered having a heart to heart with your guy and just directly ask him where he sees your relationship going? Not being ready right now doesn't always mean he's opting out of the marriage idea; he may just have a different time table than you, so why not get it out in the open?

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 01-25-2013 - 11:22am

I think this happens a lot in relationships where one person (usually the woman) feels that living together is a step toward marriage while the other person just sees it as living together to see how things are going.  You don't say how old you are or how long you dated before you moved in.  I do not think you should pressure him to get married just because your parents are harrassing you--tell your parents to back off and this is a decision between you & your BF--you don't want to rush into marriage just to get divorced.  I did live w/ 2nd DH before marriage--of course we were middle aged and had kids so it wasn't the same, but we had already decided we were going to get married.  It helped us save money for the wedding & honeymoon since he sold his house & moved into mine.  I think before anyone decides to live together they should discuss what it means for their relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2012
Fri, 01-25-2013 - 8:09pm

If everything is going great don't let any one pressure you into getting married.

I lived with my husband of almost 30 years, for 7 months before we got married. We knew after the 3rd date he was my magical other half, but had a date we wanted to marry on so waited. Which gave us time to save up for the wedding and honey moon.

My mother divorced after 10 years of marriage and lived with her first love for over 20 years without marrying until her death.

It is only up to you two if and when you get married, don't let others "guilt" you into it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Mon, 01-28-2013 - 3:18pm
I lived with my dh before we got married. I wouldn't let anyone pressure you into marriage, if things are going fine than you don't want to ruin it. How long have you been together and how old are you? It could be that he's not ready for that level of commitment and you might need to give him some time.


"Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open."

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2013
Tue, 02-05-2013 - 2:34am

I think that not problem. Just do you like, I know many people as you

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2013
Fri, 03-15-2013 - 10:02pm

Im currently living with my boyfriend, Im 28, He's 27, We're been living together since Oct. 2011, but we've been together since June of 2011 and its going really good, There has been a few agruments but that comes with living with 10 people but his and mine relationship is good, We havent got in any big fights since we've been together, I've also known my boyfriend for 13 years, We went to middle and high school together but then we reconnected on facebook in June of 2011. So yeah its going good so far, We're hoping to get married June of 2014, So we have awhile to save up and stuff. I'm looking forward to it though and Im sure he is too.