Is my boyfriend avoiding me?
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|Fri, 05-18-2007 - 11:52pm|
...or am I reading too deeply into his actions?
We have been dating for almost 4 months. Almost everything is going very well (he makes me feel good about myself, is respectful towards me, great sex, we understand each other and have fun, etc.) There's one thing that bothers me a lot. He calls me maybe twice a week, maybe less on occasion. He claims he hates talking on the phone in general, and likes to use it as a means to make plans, not to chat. I can understand this, but I'm used to being in relationships where my boyfriend and I would "check in" on the phone about once a day, even if it was just to say hi or goodnight. With my current boyfriend, I feel that I am usually the one to call him and makes plans, or to just call to say hello. He always seems a bit nervous and distant over the phone, but he is not nervous with me at all in person. On average I see him about 3 or 4 days a week, but every once in a while we can go 3 days without talking or seeing each other at all, because I am waiting for him to take action and call me.
This is not a "casual relationship". He tells me he loves me quite often, and tells me how lucky he is to have me, how beautiful/honest/smart I am, etc. We have discussed cheating and have definitely agreed that we both want a monagomous relationship. I feel that these are not empty words and I think he does love me, but the not calling enough thing makes me very worried about what's going on and how he's really feeling, and if he's taking the relationship as seriously as I do. Even if it's not over the phone, it would make me feel a lot better to just hear from him in some way or another if we don't see each other that day. Am I being clingy in this request? Are his actions understandable?