need an honest opinion!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2012
need an honest opinion!
1
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 11:05am

My best guy friend's old college roommate and I have been hooking up for a few months. The first time we did it, my friend got upset at both of us. His reasons included not wanting to feel like a third wheel (the two of us are his closest friends) and feeling jealous that his friend was getting some and he's in a prolonged dry spell. So many of my friends think it's because my guy friend is actually in love with me, but I didn't (don't?) want to believe that. I thought I could see myself really liking this guy and wanted to give it a shot with him. We got along great, had a lot in common, and we were really attracted to each other. We decided to keep our trysts a secret in the interest of not upsetting our friend or dealing with the situation. I'm not proud of this, I know it was the cowardly way out.

The roommate just called things off with me because he said he couldn't continue sneaking around behind his best's friend back. I agreed that being shady wasn't really for me either, and I'm actually a little relieved that it's over. But I'm wondering if that was just an excuse because he's done with me, or if he's truly realized that what we were doing was kind of awful? If a guy really likes you, would not wanting to be a bad friend really get in his way? Wouldn't he maybe try to talk things out with our mutual friend if he really wanted this, or do you think that he's also wondering if our friend likes me and knows that no matter what, a relationship between us would never be okay? Brutal honesty welcome, though I already know I was being a sketchy bitch so no need to call me out on that :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 11:15am
I think I would believe him when he said he didn't want to sneak around behind his friend's back. If the two of you genuinely want to continue the relationship, I think both of you should sit down and talk to your other friend about it. I hope it isn't too late for that, but if it is at least you came out of the situation wiser.