Need Someone to talk to That Doesn't Know Me

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Need Someone to talk to That Doesn't Know Me
9
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 1:37pm

hi iVillage

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
I'm really sorry that this happened to you. What your boyfriend did was wrong, and it is rape. You said no. That's all you had to say, and he was supposed to listen to you.

I have never been in this situation, but you might want to post to our Crisis board: http://forums.ivillage.com/t5/Crisis-Center-Rape-Suicide/ct-p/iv-rlcrisis

The CL is a wonderful lady, and she might be able to offer you some advice. Has anything like this happened to you before?

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999

Hello Confident_resilient, I'm Karen, the host of the Crisis Center: Rape and Suicide.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008

My boyfriend is not a punk rocker.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2010

I don't think he sounds like a respectful guy at all.

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999

I'm sorry if I offended you in any way.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008

Thank you for your apology.

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999

Wow, I thought only the ER could send police to your house in a case of alleged rape.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2012

The situation was a horrible one that shouldn't have happened, but you really have to SPEAK UP when you don't agree with him...not just related to sex!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2012

i had a similar experience with my ex. At the time I knew I said no and he shouldn't have done what he did, but I just kind of tossed it aside. We broke up, due to other reasons. Then about 2 years later while with my husband I had visions of my ex and it all came flooding back to me. It has been something I have had to work through ever since.

Now, I wish I took it more seriously back then. I really wish I would have accepted that yes, my boyfriend did rape me.

Only you are in charge of your body and you have to advicate for yourself. You can still like sex and be able to say no to parts that you are uncomfortable with. It doesn't make you a bad girlfriend to say no.

Speaking to a therapist might help you get through this situation a lot better now than have flashbacks later on.

good luck with everything that this brings to your life.