What am I doing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2011
What am I doing?
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 11:00am

So here's the deal: I'm 23, hard working, physically fit, fun, flirtatious, and weird.

I like my life. I try to make it as exciting and interesting as possible, but I feel like the past year has been me being incredibly inconsistant. My heart tells me five different things every day. It changes on a whim, and I'm just not sure what to do.

I moved across country with my boyfriend. We moved in together, it failed. I broke things off with him and we were

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 1:23pm
The one thing you're not saying is what this friend from back home thinks. Did he tell you he wanted to date you and hopefully enter a relationship? Did he tell you he had any interest in you at all? Are you 2 talking regularly? If he hasn't given you any indication that he's interested I'd say it'd be hasty to move back home for him.

Also if your heart is elsewhere (whether it works out or not) it isn't fair to string along your ex-current bf. He doesn't deserve that and if the situation were reversed you'd be really hurt if he treated you that way.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 10:01am

I feel safe saying that your boyfriend (why do you still call him your boyfriend?) is not the one for you. If he were, then regardless of how sweet or attentive he is, you wouldn't be thinking of someone else during sex. You are stringing him along because you really WANT him to be the one for you. It would save you the effort of going out and meeting someone new.

Nor is your friend from NYC the one for you. Because if he were, then your relationship or whatever it was wouldn't have just dissipated into thin air.

I'm not sure why, at 23, you are making your love life into a dichotomy between these two guys. You will meet SO many men in your adult life. The odds are extremely high that you will meet one, or many, who fit you better than either of these two. Relationships that have potential aren't difficult. They don't fall apart easily, they don't make you pine for other men sexually.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
Sat, 11-26-2011 - 4:30pm