Why didn't he try more than kissing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2010
Why didn't he try more than kissing?
Sun, 08-08-2010 - 2:13am

So I met a very cute guy through my friend. I feel very silly asking this on here but I figure strangers will be more honest than my friends will. I'm about 3 years older than he is. I'm 28 he is 25. My friend throws a cook out-party every weekend. I just met her about 1 month ago at work, so its all her friends. This is the second time I attended and last night a friend of her boyfriends, caught my eye. There was some desert he brought and I was asking what it was, he than picks up a spoon with a piece on it and spoon feeds it to me.

Through out the night he would come and sit by me, where most of the women were talking and hang out. He usually hangs out with the guys playing their stupid beer pong game. I would be in mid conversation with someone and every now and than catch him starring at me. I felt an attraction and hoped maybe he did too. A few times during the night he would come and put his hand on my back or shoulder.

The two of us were drinking most of the night and by 2 am I had sobered up a little. I knew he was staying over that night because they were going golfing early the next morning. The party was ending and people were leaving at 2. I asked my friend if I could stay on the couch while I sobered up. I thought he was staying in the extra bedroom, but turns out he was gonna stay on the couch. So everyone else went to bed and him and I hung out in the living room and started watching tv. We started out at opposite ends and than just got closer and closer , my feet ended up in his lap and he gave me the most amazing foot massage EVER. So for about an hour we talked and watched tv and the couch we were laying on wasn't all the comfortable so he suggested we move over to the oversized chair (which I know was a move to get closer) So I ended up laying beside him with his arm around me.
After a few minutes I don't know why but I planted a kiss on him. I immediately felt a little worried that maybe I shouldn't have been so forward and pulled back but than he pulled me closer and kissed me and we made out for like 15 minutes. I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't want it to go further (not sex, just more kissing or touching) cause I did. But he was very sweet and didn't try anything else.. After kissing for a little while he kinda pulled back and stopped suddenly. I didn't want to stop, lol. I started to feel a little rejected... that we stopped but I hoped maybe it was just because it was like 4am and he was tired? After a few minutes he started to fall asleep and I felt good enough to go home, so I left.

My friend texted earlier today asking me what happened. I just told her we kissed, and she said when she saw him that morning, he was hung over and didn't say much. Her boyfriend and this guy are close so she told me that she will tell me if anything was said about last night. Why didn't he try to take it further?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 11:38am

its hard to judge from just that one night because guys are alll sooo different. From the story it seems like he was definitely into you...in my opinion it could be one of 3 thing:

1. He liked you and was having a good time but was honestly just really drunk and tired (only u can really tell how drunk or tired he was since u were there)...I had a guy fall asleep on me while we were hookin up like he just rolled over and went to bed...and i was so upset but he was just really drunk...so that does happen...esp since u said he fell asleep like 3 mins later.

2. It could be that he REALLY is a nice guy and doesnt sleep with girls that easily. Trust me im just like u...if i reallly really like a guy i dont think its that wrong to want to go further every once in a while..especially if your single u might as well enjoy ur life while u can (guys do it, why cant we?) I always told my friends teh easiest way for a guy to have sex with me is to NOT try and have sex with me...so when a guy doesnt seem to be pushy and all over me it makes me want hims o much more..which ir probably a lot of what u felt that night...including all teh chemistry and alcohol. But may be he doesnt just sleep with girls the first time he meets them...there ARE still a few of those guys left. maybe he felt if he started touching u and doin foreplay he wouldnt be able to control himself and would want to take it further

3. He might have a girlfriend. Or somebody hes talking to very very seriously. And maybe he kissed you bc he felt the same chemistry + alcohol connection but then realized he doesnt wanna full blown cheat on his gf and realized hes drunk and just acting on instinct instead of doing what is right. It sucks to hear...trust me ive been there...hung out w a guy and had the best time ever and he made me feel so special...only to find out he has a gf. Guys can be scumbags sometimes and it sucks bc we fall for it.

Thats just my opinion obviously...but thats the 3 most obvious I believe. Do you plan on talking to this guy again? or trying to "bump" into him accidentally or are you just going to let it go? You should also have your friend talk to her boyfriend and find out all the goods about him...guys are good about covering for each other but im sure she could at least pull out of him all the necessary info. Hope this helps and good luck