Why So Much Attraction?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2013
Why So Much Attraction?
1
Sun, 08-18-2013 - 10:18pm

I wasn't sure where to put this topic, so I'll decided to post it here. Okay, here goes. I am in my 20s and I met this guy who is 18. I immediately became highly attracted to him. Of course, I'm thinking he's young and fit.. It happens, right? Whenever I saw him flirting with other women, I was jealous. I know some jealousy can develop at certain levels, but this time it was extreme. I never felt such jealousy over someone before. ...Why? What makes him so special to me? He is quite a young "Casanova" with all the women he meets, such a big flirt and player. Also, there are negative qualities of his personality that surface. He is self-centered, controlling, manipulative and shows a cold shoulder until he desires something out of you. He talks over others until he is heard or tries to get back at you, if you correct him. I know my rational mind thinks this is very wrong, yet I feel as though I want his attention instinctively. I have had conversations with him. On a side note, I think he's not really that impressive. I find him inexperienced and childish. Again... why so much desire for him? I was thinking maybe it's a biological desire or the dysfunctional attributes he has about him. I really wish I could turn this off or possibly be more logical about the situation to make myself change. I'm trying my hardest to keep my distance from him. Then I find myself secretly longing for his attention... Bad, isn't it? Why is this so extreme for me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2013
Mon, 08-19-2013 - 4:15pm

How about just old fashioned lust?  It sounds like the guy knows how to work women, and you might get turned on by the challenge of being the one that brings him up to snuff, kwim?  I think it would be a huge mistake to give into your feelings, look around and I bet you'll find somebody who is ready for a mature relationship who also knocks your socks off ;)