Would really appreciate having a support system right now!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2011
Would really appreciate having a support system right now!
8
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 10:55pm

Hi ladies,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Hello, MissCasey!!! Glad to see you!!

"I know that this break is very healthy for me because I need to get back to focusing on all of the things that I enjoy in my life instead of worrying so much about my relationship with him. Today I practiced my flute for hours and it felt great, I felt accomplished again."

You couldn't have said it any better!! IMHO, I think that you will feel more secure in the relationship when you begin to feel more secue doing things outside of the relationship. I have been in this same sitation before and it is not fun. It makes you feel like the other person is your life line.

ALL relationships have their highs and lows just within themselves. Then when you add life's other obligations and issues, the road can be pretty rocky. Were you upset because the two of you were unable to spend time together or were you upset because he wasn't there in a needed time?

I'm pretty sure he wanted to spend time with you but time didn't allow it. It is great that the two of you are taking a break. I see where you said that at one time the relationship was struggling. What issues did you have before the incident of him not seeing you? Overall, is he a good guy? I'm not going to say that you are less mature because of your actions. We all deal with things differently. I'm pretty sure you feel there is a better approach you can take.

By you taking time for yourself and getting involved in other activities, it will help the relationship and you in general!! Looking forward to hearing back from you:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2011

Hi Princess!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Hello, misscasey!!

I am SOOOO happy that things are looking up for you. ITA, that when you are not able to see someone as much as you did at first, those ugly thoughts begin to creep in your mind. However, he had a legitimate reason as to why he was not coming around. I'm glad you realized that you should enjoy things in life outside of the relationship. I understand because I was that same girl in my last relationship. I wouldn't say I was needy but I put in a whole lot more effort than he did. Life goes on and we learn from our mistakes!!

Life is going fine!! As far as the love department, I am not happy. I have a SO that is still on the highschool mentality, kwim? He caters more to friends and he likes to joke a lot. I don't know how far this relationship will go. At times, I get sad because it seems like I can't get no one on my maturity level. I don't know if I should wait it out and see if he matures or end it now. What do you think?

Thanks for checking on me and I look forward to hearing from you:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2011

Hey Princess!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Hello!!!

I have really been thinking about it a lot and I told him that as well. I will have to come to terms real soon because everyone deserves to be happy!!! ITA, with the emotional attachment part. Love can be so difficult, lol:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2011

Hi!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
You couldn't have said it better about guys being stubborn, lol!!! I am sooooo happy for you both!! Recognizing that you are a team is a major step. It is so often that we play individual roles in relationships and never engage in teamwork. Being connected on an emotional level is very important as well. Things are looking up for you and you deserve it!!

I finally cut the ties with my SO. It just wasn't working for me and I was emotionally exhausted for three weeks. I am doing ok now. Just adjusting to being single;)

Keep up the progress in the relationship!! I love to hear success stories;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2011

I am so glad that you are back to being in a good place now.