Open the Envelope: Weekly Teaser (m)
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Open the Envelope: Weekly Teaser (m)
| Wed, 07-03-2002 - 1:38pm |
Open the Envelope: Weekly Teaser (m)
Write a short story (500-1,000 words) about a character whose birthday is the Fourth of July.
Happy writing & have a safe and happy holiday,
Mac

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Mine. (m)
Well, it's a little over 500. Sorry.
FIRECRACKER DAY
"God, I hate my birthday." Jamie pushed back from her desk, and the little calender with the big red circle around the day.
Fourth of July. Firecracker day. Bang! Bam! Pow! How many gag presents, with firecrackers in them, had she gotten at birthday parties as a kid.
No picnic as an adult either. She'd been married to Jim for eight years now. Not a fine dining birthday experience in the whole kit and kaboodle. Especially since the twins were old enough to share their father's passion for the annual fireworks display.
She sighed, and shoved the checkbook back in the desk drawer. "Maybe next year." Pushing the chair back under the desk, she snorted. "Yeah. Right!"
While the twins were upstairs napping, she headed to the kitchen to fix the picnic basket they would take to the fairground for Firefall. At least they wouldn't be crabby, staying up so late.
The phone rang; it was Jim.
"Hi honey. Don't pack a basket for tonight."
"Why?"
"Just don't, I'll explain when I get home, okay?"
"All right. See you then."
She hung up the phone, a little confused by the conversation. Her eyes widened. "Could it be?" She hooted with delight at the thought. Dinner for two. Wine, not strawberry soda. Steak instead of hotdogs and potato salad. Ohmygod, the sheer luxury of it all. She thought about how disappointed the boys would be. Damn.
The six year old boys clammbered down the stairs, still rubbing their eyes. "When's daddy gonna be home," JJ whined.
"Firefall, firefall," Terry yelled, jumping around in a circle.
"Soon, kiddos," she said, ruffling their shaggy blond heads. She heard the garage door open, and the car drive in.
As the door rumbled down, Jim came through the kitchen door with a big box, neatly wrapped and bowed. Too big for firecrackers.
He grinned and set the box on the table as JJ danced around, and yelled, "Is it time, daddy? Is it time?"
"In a few minutes." He laughed and knelt to hug them. Jamie's heart plummeted. "First mom's got to open her present."
The boys giggled with delight. "Hurry up, mom," they cried in unison.
She untied the bow and opened the box. "Oh! Jim."
The boys sat at the table, so quiet, she forgot they were there for a moment. Gently she lifted the soft, silky evening dress from the box and peered at the label. Wow, the right size. She held it up, tears filling her eyes. Something fell on the floor at her feet.
She draped the dress over her arm and bent to pick up a menu and and envelope. Georgios! The lushest restaurant in town. Her hands shook as she opened the envelope. Tickets to the symphony. She closed her eyes, dimly aware of the boys giggling in the background. "Surprise, Mommy!"
"Oh, you little stinkers." She looked at Jim. His face softened and he squinched his mouth as if he might cry. "You, too. Big stinker."
"Happy birthday, Momma." The boys grabbed her around the hips and hugged her.
Jim laughed. "Happy birthday, honey. Mom and dad are going to pick up the boys in a few minutes and take them to firefall." He raised a rakish eyebrow. "And they're going to spend the night." He slipped his arms around her and whispered. "And I made sure the dress comes off real quick."
She rested her forehead against his cheek, as the boys ran to the window. "Yeah?"
"Oh, yeah!"
Hang on to your hat girl. Bang! Bam! Pow!
THE END
cl-ozarker
"We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master." - Ernest Heminway
Liked it a lot, Linda ...m
but then, I'm a sucker for a man with romance in his heart. Especially one who's not afraid to let it out.
Terry
My first shot at something new....m
Guess it's time to push the envelope and try to write based on an 'assignment.' It said 500-1000 words. This is 987. Just under the wire. No title. Titles and endings are my worst parts. Suggestions for both welcome! Terry
Patrick looked around at his friends. Maybe this time it would be different. Maybe because Zach was a boy, and the last party had been for Amanda. Maybe they didn't let boys stay if it was a girl's party. Besides, he'd been in pre-school for six whole months now. Practically ready for kindergarten. Maybe that was the difference.
Sally was poking Jeremy in the stomach, and he was punching her in the arm, but they were both giggling. Still, that wasn't 'best behavior.' Not party manners. He sat up a little straighter and watched Zach reach for a brightly wrapped package from the pile on the floor.
"This one's from Stevie," said Zach's mom. Zach ripped the wrapping paper. Patrick held his breath. Didn't Zach know you were supposed to be careful with the paper? Would that spoil the party? Patrick looked at Zach's mom. She was smiling. He released his breath.
"Thanks, Stevie! This is cool!" Zach grinned and set down the remote controlled car and reached into the stack for another present. Would Zach think Patrick's gift was cool, too? Maybe only the ones who gave cool presents got to stay. He studied Zach's mom again. Did she choose, or did Zach? Maybe they both thought the present had to be cool.
Zach picked up Patrick's gift. Amanda tugged at his shirt sleeve. "That's yours, isn't it? What did you get him?"
"Shhh. You're not supposed to tell. Presents are a surprise." He took his eyes off Zach for an instant to glare at her.
"You're no fun at all," said Amanda.
Patrick's heart sank. No fun. Was that the key? "I am so!" he retorted, remembering at the last minute not to stick his tongue out at her. He forced a huge grin onto his face and looked at Zach.
"X-men action figures. Wow! Thanks, Patrick."
Patrick's grin was genuine now. A 'wow' should be good enough. He relaxed and watched as Zach tore through the rest of his gifts. Only when Zach was almost through did Patrick notice Zach's mom talking to him as he opened each gift. He strained to hear what she was saying.
"Remember, say something nice," she whispered before Zach opened each gift. He blinked. Maybe his 'wow' wasn't good enough, after all.
They moved to the patio for ice cream and cake. He sang his very best "Happy Birthday" when they brought in the cake, ablaze with five candles. Patrick had learned about the candle ritual. One for each year, and one to grow on. Maybe he'd ask for candles on his cake this year. He'd wondered about the ice cream, too.
"Not everyone makes homemade ice cream, Patrick," his mom had said. He missed taking his turn at cranking the handle, but he liked the store-bought ice cream almost as well. And sometimes it would be chocolate. His mother always made vanilla for his birthday.
After cake and ice cream, the children raced out to the back yard to play. Patrick waited his turn patiently for each game. "Way to go, Pete! Good one, Sammie! Nice try, Mandy!" he shouted to his friends. Maybe being a good sport was the answer.
One by one, parents arrived to pick up their children. Patrick watched as Jeremy left. He knew he shouldn't have punched Sally. Soon, only he, Pete and Amanda were left. He felt himself getting excited. Maybe this would be the time. And then he saw her.
"Patrick. I'm here. Time to go," his mom said. His heart sank. He looked at Zach's mom, hoping she'd say something. Tell his mom that he could stay. That he'd been good enough.
"You're son is so well behaved, Liz. I don't know how you do it. A perfect gentleman," he heard her say. He perked up. Maybe that would be enough.
"Thanks. We try. He's still new at these birthday parties, though. Did he have a good time?"
"He seemed to be having a wonderful time. I'll talk to you next week."
"Right. Come on Patrick. Let's go. Say, 'thank you' to Mrs. Richards."
"Thank you," Patrick mumbled before following his mom out to the car.
"What's the matter, sweetie," his mom asked when they pulled into the driveway. "You look so down. Didn't you have fun?"
Patrick tried not to cry, but a tear rolled down his cheek. "I tried so hard, Mom. Why wasn't I picked? This is the fourth time."
"Picked for what? Did they play a game and not choose you for a team?" She opened the door to the house.
"No. The games were fun. It was for the late stuff. You know. Afterwards."
"Come here. Let's sit on the couch and you can tell me all about it." She pulled Patrick into her lap.
"I was good. I had a good present. I sang all the songs, and I was a good sport. But they still didn't invite me to stay for the fireworks. That's the best part of a birthday. And nobody's ever let me stay."
He felt his mom squeeze him tight. She rubbed his hair and then pulled him away so she could wipe the tears from his face. "Oh, you poor dear. I had no idea. Listen, honey. You didn't miss the fireworks. Your birthday is a very, very special day. Not just for you, but for everyone in our entire country. Nobody else has fireworks on their birthday, unless they're born on the Fourth of July, just like you were. The party was all over. Nobody stayed."
"Really?"
"Really and truly. Now. Tell me about Zach's party. Did he like your present?"
"Oh, yeah. He said 'Wow' and everything." He jumped off his mother's lap. "I'm going to go play upstairs now." Halfway up the stairs, he turned and said, "On my birthday, can some of my friends stay for fireworks, though?"
"They sure can," said his mom.
Me too terry, wish I could find one LOL. Thanks.(nt)
cl-ozarker
"We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master." - Ernest Heminway
Nice work Terry.(m)
Your characters were excellent and true to age, a nice increase in tension and I liked your ending just fine. Sorry, the title either comes to me or it doesn't, and it didn't.
But you did a good job on the exercise. I enjoyed the story.
Linda
cl-ozarker
"We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master." - Ernest Heminway
This was a lot of fun, Linda! (m)
I, too, like the romantic type!
Jodi
This was really sweet, Terry! (m)
I agree with Linda -- the ending was just great.
Would you consider simply calling the story "Fireworks"?
Jodi
Thanks, Jodi ....m
I was looking for a title that wouldn't give too much away. At least I hoped somebody reading it who didn't know it was for a 4th of July assignment wouldn't figure out about the fireworks until closer to the end, so I didn't want to stick it right up there in the title.
Ah well ... it's the 'meat' that's important, not what you call it. Or so I tell myself.
Terry
Thanks, Linda. Yep -- titles can be a pain n/t
Good ole Jimbo (m)
is quite the romantic. The one thing I really liked -- besides him getting the dress size right-LOL -- was that he included the restaurant menu. Now that was cool!!!
Another good one, Linda.
Mac
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