mental issues with losing a lot of weigh
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mental issues with losing a lot of weigh
| Thu, 11-13-2003 - 12:58pm |
I know this sounds strange, because everyone in this society is so gung-ho about weight loss, but for the ladies who have fifty or more pounds to lose, do you ever feel uncomfortable or vulnerable or somehow sad when you really start losing it?
I know this sounds strange. I saw an interview with Carni Wilson, the one who was in Wilson Phillips and lost a ton of weight after having weight loss surgery, and she said that she went through a process of grief and would sometimes cry when she was losing weight. She said that people saw her a certain way and her personality was based on being the big one, and feeling like she was physically powerful, and she missed that. She said it was just emotionally difficult to adjust to the transformation and how differently people were treating her.
I know this sounds strange. I saw an interview with Carni Wilson, the one who was in Wilson Phillips and lost a ton of weight after having weight loss surgery, and she said that she went through a process of grief and would sometimes cry when she was losing weight. She said that people saw her a certain way and her personality was based on being the big one, and feeling like she was physically powerful, and she missed that. She said it was just emotionally difficult to adjust to the transformation and how differently people were treating her.
I know my weight loss isn't as extreme as hers, but my weight has gone up and down so much over the years. I know that I'm now at the point where men start looking at me again, and its just so bizarre to me. One day I'm almost invisible, and then I get to this one weight level where suddenly I notice men looking at me "that way" again. Its not even like men are hooting and hollering at me or being inappropriate, I just feel like they're seeing me as a sexual being again. Does that make sense? Or am I just nuts?
I'm not saying that I don't want to lose weight or that its bad, but I think that our society so glorifies the whole thing that people don't want to talk about the psychological adjustment.

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Because the truth is for me that it is healthier for me to be smaller, and that's why I'm doing it. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. The way I look is just a side issue.
I think that people are fascinated by transformations, and I can't blame them for that because I'm the same way. I love makeover shows, I love Queer Eye, I love Trading Spaces. But for me its not "oh that person is worth knowing now" but more "Oh that hair looks better for their face shape." I guess the person's intent is what's important.
I used to work with a woman who had a personal crisis and lost a lot of weight really quickly. She went from being obese to being a size 6 in a year. I think she was over three hundred pounds. Anyway I have to say that there's something really interesting about watching how someone's face changes and how different they look when you can see their bones and their muscles underneath the fat.
But I never felt like she was a better person or like I liked her more or anything just because she lost weight.
The funny thing is, she was African American and she told me one day that she felt like she'd passed the point where she was still attractive to Afr.Am men! She said that they just didn't look at her anymore once she got down to a certain size, but she didn't care because she felt better.
I noticed earlier in this thread that there were a few posts referencing how men from certain cultures react to women of different sizes, and wanted to say something but couldn't think of how to phrase it correctly, and then the subject changed so I decided to drop it. Now that it's been brought up again, I would just like to say my little piece about this. First of all, I'm not about to scream racism because I know that there are different values of beauty placed on weight in different cultures, including Hispanic and African American cultures. I also understand that people are speaking of their own experience and in some cases second hand experiences.
I think that it would be really interesting to have an open discussion about what weight means in different cultures, especially since I'm sure that as a group we come from many different backgrounds. A lot of backgrounds don't place such emphasis on the Barbie image as mainstream America does, and I'm a nut about these things, so I'd love to hear other people's ideas and experiences.
However, and I admit here that I may have been misreading these posts, I don't like the idea or implication that certain body types automatically make you attractive or unattractive to an entire culture's worth of men. Just remember that for every guy you meet that fits the stereotype, there's probably another one out there who doesn't.
I'm not meaning to point any fingers, just something to think about.
Shan
Thanks for putting away the soap box, I jumped off and left it out:)
I think you idea is a great one. An open discussion of weight regarding different cultures and their mind set to appearance... interesting!
I work in a primarily African American dominate workplace. I work with A.A. VERY outspoken youth and staff. The term sexual harrassment doesn't exist. It doesn't bother. Anyhow, I have been told on several occassions that I would be a "fine, fly woman" if I had a butt (sic). Yeah, I was blessed (cursed) with NO but at all. Anyhow, I am not the "complete package" because I don't have the "juice" as the kids call it. lol. That was just an example and it wasn't meant to be mean, crude, or judgemental. Just a fact.
Hmmmm... maybe we should start a new thread? Shan, what is the best way to work the thread title... Culture and Weight? What makes you say WOW?
Ria
Hmmm, I'm trying to think of a name for a new thread for this...and it probably doesn't help that I was playing with my cousin's MP3 files and just turned on "Baby Got Back" :-)
How about "International Barbie"?
Shan
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