Ahh Phooey I blew it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Ahh Phooey I blew it!
29
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 2:39pm
A few days ago I made these delicious cookies for a friend who is 21 weeks pregnant. She was craving them. They are chocolate and orange coated shortbread wedges. A decadent treat. I was sooo good when I made them and pretty darn good when I packaged them up.

The day before yesterday I packed up the car with the kids, my body pillow for her belly a couple of good paperbacks and her one true desire that day, my cookies.

I was on the way to her house when I got a call from her best friend telling me that she had been admitted to L&D, a possible ruptured bag, worried that she'd broken her waters. Tests came back that she had not. Baby was fine. No infection. Fine. (Last year she delivered a little boy at 24 weeks who was so sick with the strep B virus that he had no chance.

It turns out that this time there was no trace of the strep B, but she was already dilated to 4 cm. They tried to do a cerclage, where they sitch the cervix to prevent further dilation. Something happened and the membrane ruptured and they had to induce labor. 24 hours later she delivered a little girl, stilborn. I am devasted for her. To have to bury one child is one thing, but two I can not even imagine.

I brought the cookies out of the car... took them out of their container... and had three of them. THREE!!!!

Oh well, there is always tomorrow and I had better make sure that they are hidden from me by day's end.

Not that that is ANY excuse. They were there. I am in such a fog and over tired from taking care of two sick kids and being up all night and cleaning up barf, etc...

Thanks for listening!

Jessica

120/112/10~something

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 6:17pm

My heart goes out to all of you at this difficult time.

       

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 6:22pm
I was beginning to wonder about this board for a minute there. Here a mother had lost her child, and we were all concerned about how big a few cookies were.

You know your friend better than any one. Be with her. Most people don't know what to say or what to do....so they end up doing nothing. Why don't you ask her how you can help the most? If she doesn't have any ideas, then do any of the suggestions offered before.

I think you're on the right track. I only hope I would have such a friend like you at a time like this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 6:23pm
oh Debbie,

Thank you. It took her a while for her to emerge from this the first time. I can not imagine having to rplay the whole scenario all over again. And yes, to leave the maternity ward without a bundle, without a smile. It pains me. Yes, she was engorged the first time. She said it was like adding insult to injury. I assume it will happen again. I will give them a little space (should I?) and then offer to help with groceries, cooking a meal,etc. I am so sorry this happened to you too. Not only am I witnessing this for my friend a second time, but a very near situation happened to my SIL over the summer. She delivered a stillborn, little girl, at 20 weeks.

And I have two wonderful and healthy children. They've been sick since Tuesday. Dh was sick over the weekend. I was up all night with the little one. I am overwhelmed and exhausted. And my tolerance for my kids is low. I am tired of sick kids and feel SO GUILTY about this... and I know how lucky I am to have kids with fevers and diarhea and vomiting, and running me ragged. I know, believe me, I know.

Thank you for your insight,

Jessica

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 6:25pm
Thank You!!!

Jessica

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 7:10pm

(((( I'm so sorry )))) about your friend's terrible loss.

Susan :)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 9:46pm
Hey zorbslovessporks, have you ever heard the phrase, "It's the thought that counts?" Sheesh. I'd just be touched someone thought to come see me and I can't imagine being offended if they brought cookies. Maybe it's because I'm from the south and we comfort our neighbors and friends with food when bad (or good sometimes) things happen to them (death, illness, new baby, etc.)

Stefanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 9:49pm
I am so sorry for your friends loss. That is unimaginably sad.

Stefanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Sat, 01-10-2004 - 9:16am
Thanks Susan,

At first I was dead set (oops, no pun intended there!) against bringing them to her. Then after some thought, I thought I would ask her if she still wants them or not. Let her decide and then I will do what she wants.

Thank you Susan!

Jessica

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Sat, 01-10-2004 - 9:19am
Thank you Stephanie!

Gosh, (Golly gee willikers!)

What a nice group of people we are here. Thank you all!

Jessica

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