What are we doing here?

Avatar for shandc
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
What are we doing here?
46
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 7:25pm
I don't mean for this to be a mutiny, and I want to say up front that I think Mel and Susan do a great job keeping up with everyone, especially the influx of new members here in the past couple of weeks.

However, I've been noticing something that really came out in Rhonda's Splenda thread that I think deserves discussion space here. There are a lot of veterans, or regulars, or whatever you want to call us, who have become unhappy lately with the way things are going on the board. I know that we are here to support each other, but it seems to me that one particular approach to the SBD has begun to really dominate, and there doesn't seem to be as much room for personal interpretation as there was a few months ago.

Rhonda's return to the board just illustrated the problem...she had a legitimate issue to share with us, and was told that it wasn't compatible with SBD philosophy. I'm not getting into that issue, there's a whole thread for that already, my issue here is that she was shut down because what she had to say challenged the status quo. That's just one incident, but I have received emails from other former regulars who have retired into lurkdom or left altogether because they felt like their interpretation of SBD wasn't welcome here anymore.

I, for one, miss seeing their input and advice, and I think it's a shame that they felt they needed to leave because one POV has come to dominate the discussion. I think it's great to base information from the book, but I think it is just as valuable to hear from people who can say that this WOE works for them because of significant departures that they've made from the letter of the SBD law, without having a group of people jump in with all the contradicting information from the book.

Yes, this thread is intended to start a debate. I think the issue needs to be addressed and discussed before more people who have valuable things to say decide to leave. I hope that some of the people who have gone into lurker mode will want to share their reasons with us, and that we can all learn from each other here. Please, everyone, let's continue to be civil and not get into hurtful personal statements, but I would like to request everyone to *honestly* contribute to this discussion about whether or not a slant has evolved in regards to the SBD philosophy.

Shan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 7:57pm
Hi!

I like debates!

I also like different opinions. We are all so different. What works for one may or may not work for another. We all have different body types/images, live different lives and have different reasons for being on SBD.

I may or may not agree with what is posted and I am always forthcoming, however, I PERSONALLY would never slam someone's idea or opinion. I posted in the Splenda post. I stated that I have a friend with Juvenile Diabetes ~ the form that cannot be reversed, that her drs. approved of Splenda. And that was all I said.

I have read many a post where I thought some SBers were a bit too preachy. I ignored those posts. I take to heart what suits me and I take some with a grain of salt. I also think that as with any lifestyle people can go to extremes and I do not think that is realistic either. I have common sense, and think we all do. I will continue with this WOE as it suits and applies to my lifestyle.

I got so much support when I first joined here in October and I like to help out those other newbies. There are so many questions at first and it can also be quite hard to adjust to this woe. I do agree that we really need to remember to be supportive here of one anther. I have shared success on SBD with my dh and both my sils have decided to embark the SBD lifestyle.

Jessica

120/111/???


Ps. I am also regularly on the March Toddlers site and we go through this there every once in a while there too. But as soon as someone posts and brings it to everyone's attention, the issues at hand are resolved. Thank you for posting!



Avatar for shandc
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 9:15pm
Jessi,

Thanks for your response :-) I can't get by without a good debate every now and then!

Shan

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 10:48pm
I would have to agree with you Shan. Maybe we won't be the most popular after tonight, but I would agree.

The warm fuzzies are clausterphobic at times especially when someone is seeing to tell you off but uses smiles or "lol" to curb the mood. I do agree that mel and susan do a great job with this board. We needed an active CL. For me, it just hasn't taken the turn I feel most compatible with, but that isn't anyone's fault. It happens in life.

Mel, you stated that you would not be baited into a debate with anyone due to the possibility of losing your CL position? I think it is ok to talk about an issue. I don't think it was fair to use the "bait" and "debate" in your statement regarding Rhonda. Maybe I took it wrong, but it seemed you used those two terms negatively? I don't know. Susan, I just don't know about my feelings right now. lol. I feel like I am breaking up with a boyfriend (the board) that I have been with for a while and was really comfortable, but we have grown apart. "it's me... not you baby..." lol.

Sorry...i'm either WAY to outspoken or I'm way too inappropriately funny.

Ria

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Avatar for shandc
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 10:56pm
Ria darlin',

I'm a firm believer in telling the truth, and "The truth is rarely popular and what is popular is rarely the truth."

Ya dig?

Shan

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 11:09pm
With a shovel shan, with a shovel...

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 11:21pm
I sent the emails to susan... yeah, I did... if her email was its_me_susan@yahoo.com. Iforgot the 2003 at the end. Dang it! i thought I might have done that.
Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 8:26am
I'm sorry but I have to totally agree with Shan and Ria. I have been really weighing whether I want to continue posting on this board or not, and this is a hard decision for me because I love this board. Or at least I did. I for one am not here to be chided everytime I post something that may be against what a certain few people on this board believe. I've been on this way of eating for quite some time now, and have figured out what works for me, and I don't feel that when I share those things I should be told that I am wrong. And I must say that it irritates me when people who have been here less time than the veterans are the ones doing the chiding and calling us newbies. Maybe that's immature, but that's how I feel.

Not a great debator,

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2003
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 8:36am
I posted this on the other thread...

I don't bother posting anymore because since I'm in phase 3 (and still losing), i'm not as strict and I'm sure SOMEONE will tell me I should't be eating something when phase 3 REALLY is an everything in moderation phase. I got this way by adjusting it to what works for me and my fitness level and I'll be dawggawned if someone's going to "suggest" I not include that in my diet or have to put a disclaimer on anything for the newbies. I'd like to be a support to those like me but frankly, i'm afraid someone will put a disclaimer on my post for me!

Alison

A diet becomes a diet when you follow a plan to a T and don't adjust it to fit your lifestyle...A diet becomes a way of life when you use it as a guideline and make it your own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 10:15am
Hi I am new to the board(approx 1 month). I just wanted to let you know that new members, while not knowing what the board was before, notice the same things that you have. In fact I wanted to ask a question last eve. but decided not to because I knew what I would hear! That that was not the SBD way. Well I have read the book(three times) and I know what it says, but still like to investigate further. I, as many others, am searching for "my answers" and feel that we should be free to debate "our" diets. My diet may not be strict SBD, but that is the basis and I would like more input that doesnt come straight from the book. Personal experiences are important. Please reconsider de-lurking and giving your opinions, some of us want them!!

Kaykatie

Avatar for shandc
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 10:21am
Katie,

Ask and ye shall receive, darlin'. What's the question?

Shan

PS my email is shandcsbd@excite.com if you ever want to use it!

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