My Fellow Beach Buddies

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
My Fellow Beach Buddies
6
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 9:29pm

The following was posted (among other things) in response to the "Splenda" thread posted tonight:


..... There are a lot of veterans, or regulars, or whatever you want to call us, who have become unhappy lately with the way things are going on the board. I know that we are here to support each other, but it seems to me that one particular approach to the SBD has begun to really dominate, and there doesn't seem to be as much room for personal interpretation as there was a few months ago.... <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />


I have to say that if anyone has been unhappy or has felt the need to leave this board (for any reasons) this certainly is the first time I am hearing about it.  You all have access to my email its_me_susan2003@yahoo.com and I have always encouraged members to me with any concerns, comments, criticisms & questions, etc.  Please don't hesitate to email any of us. 


As you know from my posts, I do not always follow SBD to a tee, and in fact I think we do openly value experienced beachers who have been able to adapt the plan to fit their lives.  The only time I've noticed that we band together on what "should occur" is during phase 1.  Like me, Mel bends her diet when “living life” presents itself, but also jumps right back in and is a successful beacher.  Maggie has the most self-control of the 3 of us (Bless her! Lol); she’s also lost the most.   When Maggie speaks I know I listen; because I know I am going to want to make SBD most effective in the next few weeks.  LOL. Maggie really knows the ins and out of proper beach following.  We expect you to take from us what you want and to leave the rest, but at least you will have the information, right? *wink* 


Many people come to the board asking questions and want answers that will provide them with the best chance of succeeding on this diet.  From where we stand, the best way to lose the most during phase 1 & 2 is to follow the diet.  (I’m not sure what you or anyone else has against accurate information, taken from the book or the southbeachonline site, when the goal is to lose the most pounds & inches.)   About being “rigid” - -I recall today giving advice on how to let “treating” someone (McDonalds’ fries… for example) work so that persons’ hard work wouldn’t be jeopardized.  To make this a "way of life" you do need to adapt it to your own preferences and life styles.  However to start and understand this new way of eating I think you do need to experience it (for at least 4 weeks) the proper way; definitely during phase 1. 


As for the board, it was redesigned and then redesigned again based on the wish lists and feedback of all of our members. I have received only good feedback on the change and on the "feel" of this board.  I think we have a very warm group of boardies.  I have received several emails from people sharing how much they get from our board and how much they enjoy it.  I guess the saying "you can't be all things to all people” is true.  We can only do our best and try to make the board an inviting place to visit.   I think we work well together and are doing a good job.  Our board has been averaging 300+ posts a day and, with your help, most posts receives an answer. 


 


I do understand that Rhonda posted with the intent of sharing information (not create friction).  I think it's good & interesting to learn and discuss new studies and facts; and a little friendly debate can be healthy and fun.  I think what Maggie and Mel were trying to say (and I agree with) is that while good intentioned, sooooo many people has recently joined us who are looking for information on how to FOLLOW south beach, not question the validity of its principles… I lost my train of thought; but Dr. A the creator of the SBD approves of Splenda, and so that’s what we should concern ourselves with NOW.  Information & discussions are good.  Indirectly challenging the validity of the suggested foods of the diet that people have come to our board to learn, a little confusing for those in phase 1.  I hope we can find a happy medium here…. I don’t know how to resolve this right now. 


I also want to say that Mel has been unfairly attacked.  I think her post was misinterpreted, and even if not, there was no need to direct so much negativity her way.  Mel has shown herself to be very caring, and giving of her time and support.  I wish she had been given the benefit of the doubt.  Our volunteer job here is not only to provide you with as much accurate information as we can & to do our best, but also to be board hostesses.  To make everyone feel welcome.  Sometimes that means admitting we aren’t sure of something (we can’t know everything) but popping in anyways to say hi and provide support.  Mel, Maggie and I are doing our best; that’s all we can do.


Please don’t EVER hesitate to send us your opinions, comments, ideas, criticisms, praises of/for this board.  This is YOUR board as much as it is ours.  We want this to be a happy, supportive place to visit.  I am sad that this is the first time we are hearing that people have been unhappy.  We can’t work on things if they aren’t brought to  our attention.  If you want to leave constructive criticism for us, please do (or send it by email).  If you want to tell us what you DO like about the board, we welcome that information too.


I love this board.  It’s full of wonderful, supportive women (and one man.  *wink *) who work so well at supporting and motivating each other. I hope that never changes. 


Susan :)



 


 



 


Start weight: 188/Current weight: 135.5/Goal weight: 130


Susan :)    


co-cl of Shape Up with Exercise board 
co-cl of South Beach Diet board
co-cl of Reality TV board
chat cl of FlyBabies board


Come visit me there!


Cold Breath Freezing Cold Shiver 
     Cold here in New England

Susan :)

 

Avatar for shandc
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 9:57pm
Susan,

You've just illustrated my point. I posted something to open a discussion, and instead of responding to me you've quoted me here and then gone on with the same line that I was questioning. And I have to say that my post was *not* the first one expressing concern about the way things have been going around here. Ria has posted several times that she is less than happy with how things have changed around here, Rhonda posted the same thing earlier today in the Splenda thread, a lurker that I can't remember right now agreed, and I believe that Alison came back and posted something similar not too long ago. I'm simply the first to put it out there for group discussion as its own topic because, well, I'm a big mouth like that.

I'm sorry if you feel that my response to Mel in that Splenda thread was an "unfair attack," but I stand by every word of it. Questioning the principles of this diet and opening up an aspect of it to debate is not in any way, shape, or form a violation of TOS. I've sat out several threads that I felt were right on the edge of suppressing free speech, but that one flat out crossed the line and I'm not sitting it out any more.

Questioning the principles of this diet is not necessarily detrimental to newbies. I wouldn't still be on this WOE if it weren't for all of the modifications that I've made along the way, and I know there are others out there who feel the same. The by the book stuff is great, and I do appreciate all the information that is available through the people who do the research...and I've even provided some myself to people who *want* the book information.

But any of us can get that. All we need for that is to read the book, and the companion guide. I came here to get the real story, and I did. Lately, I feel like there's more by-the-book and less from-the-gut, and so I decided to make a statement about it and give people a chance to respond.

As for what Dr. A approves and disapproves of, even he comes right out and says he's not a nutritionist. So when information like Rhonda provided is available, telling people that we follow what Dr. A. says about it regardless of the research is unacceptable in my book. When we take that line, we stop being a WOE and start being a cult.

I think that you and Mel have done great things with this board, and that Maggie is an excellent resource who deserves all the credit in the world for the knowledge she's cultivated about this WOE. I'm just trying to point out that some other good resources have been lost because it seems that the "feel goods" have become more important than the nitty gritty.

Shan

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 10:10pm

Shan, I'm appealing to the board, not necessarily responding to your post.

Susan :)

 

Avatar for shandc
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 10:17pm
I'm sorry you're taking this personally, that was not how it was meant at all. I have to respectfully disagree with you here and say that the board *is* the forum for a discussion about what is going on on the board.

I like and respect you very much, Susan, and I feel the same about Mel and Maggie. This was not intended as a referendum on you as CL's, but me bringing up something that I saw as an issue for the whole group. I responded to your post because you quoted me, and because I had something to say about what you wrote, not as a personal disagreement with you.

Shan

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 10:38pm
Susan,

This is an issue for some of us who have emailed you privately or those who remember this is real life and not just cyber space. You're quoting Shan without giving her credit to her statement and her opinion. Susan, I have emailed you venting or wondering what was going on. I don't feel the "love" here anymore. It's too "campy." However, this is MY personal opinion. Rhonda was raked over the coals today because she posted regarding Splenda. I saw the lurker post about natural things and wondered why do we use Splenda instead of natural things? It's all thought provoking.

Where was I going with this.... oh yeah. This is a support board yes, but if there is an issue that might be important to the Beach, the poster is welcome to post here, am I correct? I'm outspoken, but I know when to hush. TOday is not one of those days. Alison is gone from the board. Shan looks like she is about to be gone. I left but came back only to see that this is not the place for me. Rhonda might not be back. Maybe the group leaving or thinking of leaving don't need the support of a cyber board but want to give support when needed. I don't need this board. I liked the board for a while. I get support from within and not from others. that is my though.

Anyhow, I am not a popular poster to some. I has a few issues with posters, and Susan, I emailed you but never heard a response from you. Hopefully, I just email you at the wrong address. SBD is a good WOE. There is definately room for improvement here and there. However, one person over another on this board does not hold any higher standing than someone else, and in my opinion that goes for the CLs as well. You guys are doing an awesome job rebuilding this site and keeping it going. You, Mel, and Maggie (who i am thinking is a CL now?) have a great style, but it isn't totally compatible with my style for the most part. You and I seem to mix pretty well, but I don't feel as though you are giving Shan credit for her thoughts and her opinions.

It is frustrating to see this going on here. I was expecting a troll when I saw this start up. However, it's turmoil within our own board.

Even a support board can have issues and become resolved on the board. Emailing outside of the board is a great idea, but I was burned pretty bad bad by someone on Ivillage. someone might not be comfortable with that. Support and Struggles with the WOE, the principles, how to follow, etc. should be posted here on this board. As Shan stated before, it becomes a freedom of speech issue as well. TOS censors us enough.

I'll collect my thoughts a little and repost tomorrow. I'm just disappointed right now. But, again, this is only a cyber board.

Ria

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 10:58pm

Well, since I inadvertantly started all this by posting what I thought would be useful information, I might as well put my two cents worth in...


Shan, I totally agree with you. The fact that you felt you had to preface your first post with you weren't trying to mutiny only proves your point. If the board has become so rigid and intolerant of anything other than parroting straight out of the book, then no wonder no one has spoken up to express their concern about the rigidity of

       ~~Rhonda~~


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 11:06pm
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This says it all. If children are restricted too much they become wild and crazy... lol. sorry, I'm giggly... lol. Anyhow, that was my problem before there were actually Cls. Too much hand holding when we're adults

The board and its issues concern everyone who is a member. What gets me is there are several who feel the same way we do because i have emailed or Imed with you, and now, everyone for the most part remains mute.

Ok. i'm going to bed now. will be fresh in the Am. lol

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