To Remember Her

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2003
To Remember Her
5
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 9:41pm
I picture a beautiful woman in the prime of her life. Thin, tanned, young and vibrant. Chocolate brown hair down to her middle back and eyes so green they show such emerald happiness. I remember her kindness, caring, gentle, and loving touch that only a mother can provide. She took pride in her family, her house, and most of all her husband and small daughter. I remember her making hot cocoa and cinnamon toast at night to sooth a restless child. I remember the scent of rose milk on her skin as she cradled her child to scare aware the monsters under the bed or thunder out in the night sky. I remember her taking the child’s small hand in hers as she led her through the gardens at Longwood and watched her small, blond haired child smell the roses and touch the pedals with such patience. On windy fall afternoons, she would take the child to Valley Forge to fly kites in the blue sky and explore the old battle fields and cannons. Christmas was magical. She made sure that the house smelled of cookies and pine. As a family, they would go have hot chocolate and cut down the perfect Christmas tree to grace their living room. Covered with large colored lights and glass ornaments she would lay under the tree with her child and look up through the glistening lights and shine of the soft tree….and say, I love you. She was the Easter Bunny, Santa, and the Tooth Fairy. She was everything…to me. Even as a teenager, she was there to work through the tears of adolescence and first dates. She was there……..to support, anchor, and love. Then, it slowly started to fade. As time went by, the addiction grew stronger and took control of her and made her forget the house, life, husband, and daughter. The stars grew dim as the substance took hold and has stolen the mother and wife that was everything. The husband has stayed loyal to her even in her demons. She constantly remains in a drug induced fog as time is quickly passing by and her life. Daughter has fallen further and further away from the ever so loving arms of her mother. The addiction has driven her away. Her heart aches for that time in the past where her mother was in her life. There is nothing like a mothers love. Nothing…….Daughter has grown and has already mourned the loss of her mother, in a way. It has been so very long since she has felt the warm embrace of her mother. Maybe in her dreams she can go to that time of cookies and pine and her mother……
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
In reply to: rene1009
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 8:48am
Your words, so honest, truly moved me.

Chaoslover

Sometimes you fake it, till you can make it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
In reply to: rene1009
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 11:48am
Thank you rene....your point of view shows the pain of the loved ones and the progression of addiction so poignantly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2003
In reply to: rene1009
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 3:54pm
Thank you. I wish so very much that I could just crawl up in my mother's lap again and feel the security of my mom.........
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
In reply to: rene1009
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 6:53pm

Nothing to say but I wanted to give you a cyber hug

<<>>>

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: rene1009
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 6:55pm
Even though the addictions have taken your mother today, they have not taken the beautiful memories of your youth... hold fast to those.
What are you doing for yourself as you move through this pain? How are you taking care of you?
God bless - thank you for sharing with us.
Leslie