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|Fri, 08-24-2007 - 8:05pm|
I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. There have been at least five big incidents with alcohol which have thrown significant hurdles into our relationship. When he is with a particular friend he can't seem to say no to alcohol. He drinks to the point that his speech is slurred and he acts like a child. He becomes someone I don't know...someone I don't want to be with. Two weeks ago he got so wasted that he called me a bitch and a bastard and simply made me feel terrible. We talked for hours the next day and he wants to make changes. He realizes that this particular friend simply enables bad behavior from the past. Two days later he started seeing a therapist and he's been twice. Unfortunately last night he called with the same slurred speech after being out with his friend and his friend's wife. Tried to invite himself over and i told him no way. He lied by omission when he didn't tell me he was with them.
I've had enough. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of talking for hours until he has little epiphanies and sees the light but then does it again. I am happy he is seeking help from a therapist but I feel like he needs to distance himself from this friend otherwise what's the point. But he's been friends with this person for over 10 years. We were going to go the weekend without seeing one another so he could think about his priorities etc . I ended up calling him and he was with that friend! It felt like a slap in the face. It feels like he is choosing them/alcohol over our relationship. I am back and forth between feelings of guilt because I feel like I am making him choose between us and a long friendship. He's with him right now. I want him to get his stuff out of my apartment.
Am I blowing everything out of proportion? I'm leaving a lot of detail out. ten years ago i dated an alcoholic. I was in Al-Anon. Perhaps I need to return. I feel resentful that I'm here again. I feel a million different things. Any insight is much appreciated. Thanks!