hydrocodone addiction

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2007
hydrocodone addiction
9
Sun, 09-02-2007 - 11:04pm
im 42 yrs. old. kids are mostly grown. thought life was good. (slap me in the face).. heres my story, my H had a bad wreck yrs. ago. we saw drs. and finally it is total knee replacement. but they wanted to wait till he had a few more yrs. on him as now he is 41.drs. gave up said i cant write u anymore pain meds, u hafta go to a pain clinic, so me (stupid me) did.i made appts. blah blah, and this yr. is 2 yrs, hes been on them. so as our anniversary nears i get a letter in the mail from his dr. saying he failed his drug test had way too much hydro in his system, on top of that they found POT too. im devastated.my H is a hateful man, and friends have told me when he has withdrawals, im in for it.so i try to talk to him about this, and he totally will not discuss it at all, says im bitching at him, and im not.says he can stop them anytime he wants, no problem. well he must be cutting back on them b/c hes had diarreah all day long and it has been bad. i told him that was why and he blamed me said i brought it in from work. funny though i havent been sick.im lost , i dont know what to do.i dont want to live like this. can anyone tell me what im in store for? what to look for?i was told the other day that someone has been providing him with more hydro than he was prescribed but at that time i couldnt believe it so i blew it off. but then i got the letter. and the pot, i never had a clue, but he works all the time so we only see each other mainly on weekends. im blind i know, but im scared for me and my 18 yr,. old girl.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2007
Sun, 09-02-2007 - 11:51pm
btw did i mention i was sooooooooooo tee'd off..........
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Mon, 09-03-2007 - 9:25am

my heart truely goes out to you and your dh, i know first hand on whats going on w/ him as i too am addicted to hydrocodone (vicodin), 1st of all let me tell you that i have never ever been an drug user or acholic, but my attitude has certainly changed about a lot of things when it comes this and other issues, i too was put on this medication for pain due to female issues, i had to have some surgery, you take this med and you feel so much better that you keep coming up w/ reasons why you need it(legit.reasons in your mind) and before you know it you addicted, i have been on it for 5 years now, and believe me i would REALLY would like to get off of it, but don't how, it seems my life revolves around making sure i have enough, what you described about your dh, is classic withdrawl symtoms, diarreah, irritability, no motivation to do anything, you feel like you have the flu, you dh is probably also buying them from other people too, which is normal b/c what happens is after taking the meds for awhile, you brain quits making endorfens(the chemical that makes you feel good about things and gives you energy) b/c it has been getting extra from the pills, therefore you have to take the meds no longer for pain and the ephoric feeling you get when you started taking them, now you need them just to feel normal, and your body keeps building a tolerance, therefore need more, if you dont have them your body freaks, it isn't just a mental addiction it is also phyical. this makes me very irritable and i was in denial too, it really changes your personality,
as long as you have enough to make it thur your day you can function fine at most your daily activities, but when you dont have them, he probably cant work at all, i pray that dh finds some help b/c this is not his fault, he started taking for legit reason and got addicted, and he will not be able to kick this by himself, i dont suggest it anyway, b/c of the mental withdrawl, which he can get over the phyical w/d in less than 2 weeks, it's the emotional stuff that can take a very long time. if he doesn't get help it only gets worse, i know b/c like i mentioned earlier i have been addicted for a little over 5 years now, and am up to 10-11 pills a day of the 10mg of hydrocodone, and that is not to feel good, that is just to get by, i feel so hopeless, i want to get help, but i have children, i HAVE to take care of b/c my dh is out of town weeks at a time working, i have to work, there is no way i can do out patient b/c i wont be able to make it at work while going thur the mental and emotional w/d, as i have a high stress job.(believe it or not, i am one of the top employees of a huge company and have great performance reviews and have never missed work and no one at my work has a clue)its just my family that suffers my mood swings. i would love to be able to go into inpatient rehab. b/c i want more than anything to get my life back, but i dont see that its possible right now, but i desparatly want to be drug free. i will keep your family in my prayers b/c this is a LONG TOUGH ROAD. he will say mean, hateful things but understand it is the drugs, not him, i had very well respected family doctor, that very very rarely perscribes vicodin b/c when he was a med student he got a pretty severe knee injury that required surgery and he got addicted to the drug and he said he took dozens of them a day, he got help when he was in med school and beat the addiction, but i went him once for my problem and he told me it would be hard and he referred my to a clinic, but at that time i was affaid that if it went thur my ins, my work would find out, i know now that that's not the case, but i will have to do inpatient and i just wish there was some way i had help, b/c my children really need for me to get back to good and they want me to go to rehab more than ever, but since my dh is gone weeks at a time, i will have no help or emotional support, it just seems so bleak, any suggestions

GOD BLESS YOU & YOUR FAMILY, I HOPE YOUR DH CAN FIND THE TREATMENT HE NEEDS, IT WILL BE HARD ON YOU TOO B/C YOU'LL HAVE TO DEAL W/ HIS ATTITUDE WHILE HE IS GOING THUR THIS AND HE MAY NOT THINK HE IS REALLY GONNA NEED YOU FOR SUPPORT, BUT HE WILL NEED YOU MORE THAN HE PROBABLY EVER HAS OR EVER WILL AGAIN.

GOOD LUCK

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2007
Mon, 09-03-2007 - 12:37pm
well i know for a fact hes suppose to take 3 a day but i also know when hes had too many. like maybe 4or 5. cuz, hes too too nice.he works at construction, so his mouth is pretty bad at times. and hes always been a bit hateful. i could deal with that. but i can tell its getting worse.i have so many emotions going on in my head, that i cant sleep at all, hr. here and an hr. there, and eating is not a priority. im mad, mad as he$$, bc he is cheating me and casey. hes a lier,hes not the man i married, his attitude is awful. so i talk to his mom, and come to find out hes always had an addictive personality. with pills and alchohol when he was a teen. well heck i thought we all went thru the party stage and grew up, or at least i did.also, how can i be supportive of him, when he wont even discuss the hydro issue with me? that issue is taboo... also why i am so resentful is my mom was so addicted to any pill she was labeled a hyprocondriac however you spell that i think you all get the message lol. i lived in that mess till i was 12, and dad got custody of me and my brother and moved us south away from her. best thing he ever did.now my dad is gone, my brother is gone and my mom is in a nursing home due to all the pills. and she is only now 68, shes been in there since she was 60. so, you think about that too . the pills really damaged her internal organs and nerves, she can no longer walk, stand , shes incontinent, but her mind is good. and she is morbidly obese. all my life its been drama, im sick of drama, i been thinkin about just moving on and being alone, instead of dealing with this mess. im tired and im worn down , theres not much left of me. why should me and casey hafta deal with the mood swings or baby him when hes sick. why didnt he discuss with his dr. that the pills werent working as well as they first did? this isnt fair. i didnt ask for this. and our marriage vows said for better or worse not in times of drug addictions too.this isnt life. its taking a pill to exist, to face each morning cuz he cant drag on, this isnt how i wanted my life to turn out. i sound selfish i know, but hes cheated on me yrs. ago, i stayed, hes always lied, i stayed. but this is the straw thats breaking my back.i wonder what all he will go thru the symptoms and withdrawals b/c he cant afford to be off work to go into a rehab.i guess if he gets real sick he will hafta go to an emergency room. he wont do counciling either, he works from sun up to sun down, theres really no way except on sundays, and who's open then? i hate this mess i am in. i love him and i hate him. i think ill lose whats left of my mind if i deal with this much longer. btw, he has 40 pills left and he is cut off. so my days are numbered....thanks for the info, and good luck 2 u 2
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Mon, 09-03-2007 - 1:00pm
wow, i dont blame you, sounds like you have been threw a lot, and also sounds like he has other issues too, i think i would leave if i were you that is healthy, i mean it sounds like he isn't nice even if he didn't have a pill problem, it is not fair to your child, i will say, and i dont want to sound like i am making excuses, i dont have those issues, i issues is more w/ me, the kids dont suffer, i still make sure they get to do and have things, prob. go over board, i get short tempered, i real issues are w/ how i feel, i wish i was never perscribed this drud, i mean i never was into drugs, i dont drink, and have maybe smoked pot 5 times my whole life and i 38, i used to go to clubs w/ friends when i was younger and never really drank b/c acolhol gives me a head ache, i was usually des. driver, thats why i am shocked this happened to me, they do say it is a big problem for middled aged women, i had 4 c-section and i was given this meds and i never got hooked when i was younger, i dont take to get high, i just take now to feel normal, i would never take anything like oxycotin or anything stronger, just the vicodin, which is bad enough, i am more on the under weight side probably b/c they give me energy, i pray every day to GOD that i find my way and figure out a plan to get off these pills, i will, i have to, thank you for your response, i do however feel that you have every right to feel how you do espically if he is not being honest w/ you and treating you badly and also smoking pot along w/ the pills, my dh understands my problem and nothing is hidden from him, you need to do whats is best for you and your child....GOD BLESS YOU
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2007
Mon, 09-03-2007 - 9:21pm
well since hes leaving to go to work in chatanooga at 3 am, i figured now was my time. i went on the porch to sit and watch the hummingbirds, and of course he comes out. so i do my normal chit chat thing, then i tell him about me not sleeping, the drpression, and how im so upset. he said oh god here we go.....so there i went. i said what are you gonna do if the new dr. doesnt give you the pills? he said...find a new one. and sharon im not gonna d.t. b/c ill find them one way or the other. i then told him we cannot afford to buy them things black market, they are 6-8 bucks a pc. he said ....2 a day will do me.he said he'd go to dr. to dr. to dr. till he found one that would prescribe him what he wanted. soooo i give up. but wont his medical ins. get suspicous? and cant they inform his work place? he will be having knee replacement surgery in feb. but he said sharon that isnt gonna stop all my pain, b/c my ankle hurts jsut as bad. and we had xrays done of his ankle there is no joint bone left and all they can do is fuse his foot.when they do that he will not be able to raise his foot up and down, itll be stuck in one position and walking will be awkward. he did ask me if i could get them over the net. i told him no way! so he gave up that ideal. i wouldnt do it for him if i could.i dont know what to do, but i took some nyquil tonite so maybe i can get some much needed sleep, i have to work in the morning, and my brain just isnt working at all these days/ thank god for coffee....lol... i love him but i dont think i can live with him. but i dont make enough money to go out on my own either, and no family to help me. so i really gotta be realistic here. i know you said your nto hurting your kids, but in all fairness to them, you are. b/c your dying a slow death, and they wont have you around as long as they'd like to, and wouldnt you wanna see your grandkids? i wish you luck, i know its got to be hard, and i pray, seems like mine arent answered anymore. wonder if they are even heard?depression, itll suck the life out of ya....im gonan make me a drs. appt. this week , to get back on some meds for it, cuz i know i cant function this way, but i can promise you this, it wont be addictive meds ill be on lol. i have had enough of them darn things..btw he promised he wouldnt be mean to me or casey. so i guess we will see.....thanks for your support and info. write me back....sharon
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 10:05pm

H Sharon


Welcome!


I would suggest that you check out NarAnon. Your husband doesn't seem to want to quit, and NarAnon will help you deal with the situation.


Please know that you are welcome here.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 10:54pm

hello, thanks for response, and you are absolutly right, i am not being fair to my children, b/c i know it's true what you say about the meds killing, i do think about this. i know i really need to quit making excuses to why i cant go in rehab, i have ins.i am going to have to do it and not worry about what reason i give work, i dont think my ins can give the reason why i am on leave, i mean people take leave for personal issues all the time, and i think my older girls will help me w/ my son. i think i just really need to open my eyes and quit trying to fool myself, this is not good. But about you husband, i dont know what area your from, but if it is anything like INDY, it probaly wont be too hard to find another doctor to give him pills, espically if he is having knee replacement, i am really suprised that he is not on something stronger, i know doctors that give 300 vicodin a month w/ refills and methodone pills for break threw pain, which is crazy, i have never even taken a methodone pill, i dont understand b/c it is an opaite blocker, why take both, i have thought about methadone pills (never liquid)b/c now it is used to treat hydro addiction b/c you can actually get by on 1 a day, it's nothing like liquid that you get from a clinic, which i have never had either, but liquid is WAY stronger, to where as the pill is almost as strong hydro but it last all day, there is also a new option avaible, called suboxone, that works great b/c you only have to take a pill every other day, my friend who is a nurse who also never had a problem w/ anything either(it weird we didn't find this drug together, both happened the same way, started as legitamite problem, we never ever talked about this to one another until recently) anyhow she went threw the out patient program and was the 1st person at this center that they used suboxone and she was over her addiction in 8 days, i really mean it, she only took the meds for 8 days and has been clean ever since, this is another option for your husband, i really need to take the time to look it to also, but if you look up suboxone on internet it has gotten great results, my friends said she felt great while she was on the suboxone and felt good after she was off it too, and the answer to you other question about sales on internet, unfortunatly it is all over the internet too, and yes theses are legit, some how they get away w/ it b/c you have actual ph apt w/ a doctor, another guyn that was in treatment w/ my friend always bought them that way b/c he was a guy and it's not as easy to get from regular doctor as it is for female. this guy was up to 400 a month and all from internet, (i met this guy thur my friend and of course i was curious and asked him lots of quetions about how he took so many and were he got them and how hard it was to get off of them) anyhow he said it was more exspensive than regular cost of script but still way cheaper than buying them on the street. hopefully since your husband does have a legit prob it also wouldn't be hard for him to get percocet and oxycotin, please dont let him get involved in anything like that b/c from what i have read it is bad news, i know only 1 person that had this problem and he too had a real problem(5 slipped disc in his back and he was put on disability) but this guy was a good, bright, smart, funny, nice and very hard working guy, but do to this it changed him, he seemed like he was brain damaged, just a complete change, seem slow, it was so sad.

but any how, i do feel that you do deserve better than what you are getting, and i am sure it is scary when you think about trying to make it on your own, but even though it maybe hard if it gets worse i do urge you to leave.emotional abuse is as painful as phyical abuse an in many ways more damaging. have you threatened to leave, do you think he would stop or slow down, if he thought you meant it, i also know where your coming from in this area too, while i am married to a wonderful guy now, my ex husband was an acolholic, a cheater, liar and phyically abusive, by the GRACE of GOD, i saw my way away from,after 6 years of living w/ an abusive person, now i have someone that treats me and my 3 girls well, and puts up w/ my moods lol and we have a baby my oldest will be 21 and my son is 18 months ( did do good while pregnant but b/c of my female problem i did have to take some at times, but not nearly as many, but obgyn said that was fine, then another c-section, started again) but please keep in touch and know that i will keep you and your family in my prayers that everything works out and he gets off the meds but finds something for his pain also, and realizes what he has and starts treating you and your son better, GOD BLESS

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2007
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 10:12am
when i read your post , i thought id die. OMG there is something to help.that sub thing. well ive made him a drs. appt. so we have to wait it out and hes cutting back on his hydro's to make it that long. but, im going with him in the room and im telling that dr. everything. yes, he needs something for pain, to hold him over till the surgery in feb. but, it is not gonna be percs or oxy, shew i live in a small rural area in the country, on a big farm , away from everyone lol, i kinda like that part of it.but in this small rural area b/c there is nothing for teens to do, alot of them are on drugs, meth, pills, it is bad. my H is not gonna be one of them, or ill just back out greacefully.but can a regular M.D. prescribe that sub.- pill, to help jeff, and if so does he have to miss work? if not he would do this for us, he said he did nto want to lose this family that he really does love us, and if he had to live in pain, he would.i dont want him to be in pain of course, but i cant live with him being an addict, and how to get his next pill. i cant. and thank god he doesnt know how to turn on this p.c. or id be in financial trouble.one friend told me i was being too hard on him, and making a mtn. out of a mole hill.. i dont think so. we had a long arguement over the phone last night, it ended with me calling him a few choice names and telling him never to call me back again unless he had something reasonable to talk about. he blamed me for making him quit drinking when we were dating 15 yrs., ago! his mom called me and said sharon i want u to come over here and look at him, hes passed out in this chair and i cant do nothing with him anymore. i went, i kicked the chair, and said , having a bad day today? and he looked at the floor. i then said you have a choice, i have 2 babies im raising all alone, and if you wanna be in my life, then your not going to be drinkin. i gave him the choice, i never made him quit. but, he did.... so i called him stupid, and i went off. and i had to hang up. but you can bet your bottom dollar, if i talk to him about pills, it comes back that its always my fault. i feel like the meanest B* in the whole world, but im just trying to stand up for myself. but im down to a crawl, and friends are telling me ill hafta sell my truck, cuz i wont be able to afford the payments, cuz, i make 7 an hr. at about 30 hrs. a week.that ill hafta get on rental asst. thats something ive never done. and welfare.. im over whelmed.my brain is racing. pride is a hard thing to swallow.see you make up excuses of why you need your pills and i make up excuses of why i shouldnt leave.ill not make it, what about josh in college, and casey going to college, how will i help them w/o jeffs good money, and what if i get sick, like the flu and im out of work for a week, whos gonna pay my bills then? will i live on the streets? so many things to concider, so so many......thanks write me back about the drs. and that medicine. i really appreciate it, sharon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2007
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 10:34pm

Hi all...liljetgirl1