Al-Anon

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2007
Al-Anon
25
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 8:33pm
Well friends, I did it. I attended my very first Al-Anon meeting tonight. I was apprehensive about it all day, and when I walked in that door tonight, all of my anxiety went away. I found people there just like myself and even those who's story may have been different than mine, there was always a common thread that truly made us all one and the same. I just wanted to express my thanks for pointing me in the right direction and encouraging me to step up and do it for myself.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
In reply to: lori517312
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:17pm

That is great, Lori!!! Thank you for posting your experience. I am so glad you pushed yourself to go despite your reservations. Keep going back...you will only be amazed at what changes will happen before your eyes.

I am glad you were able to see past the differences in peoples' sharing of their stories/experiences...that was a little bit of a sticking point for me when I first "arrived". No one was talking about the specific kind of hell I was in. So much of their "stuff" seemed fluffy by comparison... I (initially) failed to see the common thread, mostly because I was so blinded by my own pain and could hardly hear above my own sobbing. Strangely, I would always feel slightly better when I left a meeting...

Take what you like, leave the rest...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
In reply to: lori517312
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:59pm
Wonderful!! That is fantastic!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
In reply to: lori517312
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 1:22pm
((((Lori))))
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
In reply to: lori517312
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 1:52pm

Hooray, Lori! I'm still very new to Al-Anon myself (three meetings so far), and I had a hard time dragging myself to that first meeting. As in so much of life, taking the first step is the hardest. Now that you've gotten over that hurdle, it will be easy to continue to go and learn and enjoy the support of others who understand you.

I have a meeting tonight and find myself looking forward to it with happy anticipation. I honestly never expected to feel that way about it, but I do.

-Sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
In reply to: lori517312
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 11:13pm
Hello, Lori.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2007
In reply to: lori517312
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 8:39am

It was a good week. I attended my 2nd Al-anon meeting and the people were wonderful. It wasn't as intense as my first meeting but I think that was part of my frame of mind the first time too. My alcoholic has not drank in a week but is still reluctant to go to AA so this worries me. I have seen him go for along time without drinking but he has always gone back. What do you think his chances are of staying sober if he doesn't ask for help? I know that like Al-anon that no one can give me the answers but I have been disappointed so many times in the past that I don't want this to be another. Well I guess that's where my meetings will come in...whether he drinks or not that I can hold on to my sanity. Thanks for checking in on me, knowing that someone is thinking of me helps to keep me stronger.

Thanks,
Lori

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
In reply to: lori517312
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 6:22pm

As you noted, what I think really isn't going to change anything for you, but my thoughts are that it will never improve for him until he surrenders.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
In reply to: lori517312
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 7:08pm

Hi Lori


There are people who stop drinking without AA. Don't lose hope, but you are right to be cautious!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2007
In reply to: lori517312
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 10:13am
Hello,
I have never posted to one of these boards before and have no idea what all the little "code" abbreviations mean, but I'll do my best. I am at a loss too...I have been married for 3 years to a terrific, smart, handsome, successful man, my family adores. But that is only the outsider view, and that is only when he is sober. From the inside, my life has been a private hell. He comes home every evening from "work" reaking of alcohol. Goes out to "run an errand" and comes back smelling like alcohol. I find empty bottles hidden in the sofa cushions, closet, etc. We have entire conversations he has no memory of later. He pees himself, the bed, the floor, the carpet. I have a vague recollection of what sex is. The scary thing is, that he has never missed a day of work, and just got a huge raise and promotion, so obviously this reinforces the fact that he believes he has no problem. I have been to a few Al-Anon meetings and honestly, was pretty annoyed. They just seemed to be a bunch of whiners, crying and feeling sorry for themselves, waiting their turn to talk, but not caring to listen. And, after one of the meetings, some creepy older guy, came up to me, offering to be a "friend" to call, talk to etc, all the while staring at my chest! I couldn't get out of there fast enough. There must be some other alternative, without all the religious stuff too. I really love my husband, and feel like I am living a lie.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
In reply to: lori517312
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 12:42pm
Hi shebang -

I am just sitting here trying to catch up on reading this board a little bit, but I had to respond to something you said that caught my eye. I am brand-new to Al-Anon, and my experience has been so different than what you describe. I have heard that all meetings are different (with, obviously, some similarities), so I would urge you to try another group. At the meeting I attend there is no "cross-talk", so it is sometimes hard to know if anyone is really listening. But when I look around the room, I see nodding heads and smiles and laughter (not laughing at me - I'm just a funny person so I tend to crack people up even while sharing about a tough day!) People approach one another after the meeting to offer a hug or a few words of support. I am amazed at how accepting and caring they are. As for the letch, he should be ashamed of himself. It is my understanding that hitting on one's fellow attendees is taboo!

Anyway, good luck to you!

-Sarah

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