Depression in Recovering Alcoholics

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Depression in Recovering Alcoholics
9
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 5:49pm

How common is it for recovering alcoholics to struggle with depression? My exbf, now just friends, has once again cut himself off from everyone. He has been sober for almost 5 years. The last time I talked to him he sounded pretty bad. He was in bed at 9:30 AM on a Saturday and that is VERY unusual. I am concerned he may be headed towards relapse. I know I can't fix him and I know I can't help him. He won't talk to me right now and he is going to have to deal with whatever is going on himself.

He hasn't been attending meetings and his mood has been really up and down this month. I guess I just wondered what everybody's else's experience with this has been. All I can do is be there for him when and if he decides to contact me.
Stephanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 7:23pm

Hi Stephanie,


Well, for me, if I had to miss my meetings, I would be depressed too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 8:55pm
Thanks Brenda. I was hoping I would have some insight from you and I wasn't disappointed. I think he is in contact with his sponsor, so I pray that he can offer him guidance. I know that there is nothing I can do except pray for him and be there when and if he comes back into my life.
It can be an emotional roller coaster to have someone you love struggle with alcoholism. But, I have learned that I can't let my peace and happiness totally revolve around the situation. I just worry about him and hope he finds his way. Thanks again for your perspective and support.
Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 10:32pm

Hi


I just returned from a meeting to find your message. I am not sure if depression is part of recovery. I do know that for years I went into major depression in late summer and end of February/early March. I still don 't know why, but know that I need to talk to my sponsor and friends, as well as go to meetings.


Let us know what happens.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 9:27am
Thanks. I will let you know something when and if I hear from him.
Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2006
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 10:11pm

I heard this from someone on this board, but I can't remember who:

A lot of people drink because they don't like the way they feel (or something like that).

I wonder if he has an underlying problem that he tried to self-medicate with alcohol.

I had panic attacks and anxiety and social phobias. That's why I got drunk.

Does he take any depression meds?

I wish I could help more.

Lucky

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 9:48am
I do think he may have underlying problems that possibly led to his becoming an alcoholic. He had a traumatic childhood and left home at 15. He did try depression meds at one point shortly after starting AA. He didn't like the side effects. He also has a fear of medication since he is an addict. I have tried to encourage him to try counseling, but I know better than to be pushy. All I can do is suggest it and hope he goes. He has to make the decision to work his program or not.
I am just afraid that since he hasn't been attending meetings very regularly that he may have had a relapse.
Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 8:32pm

Hi there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 10:49pm

I agree about the which came first, the chicken or the egg. I am very concerned he has either had a relapse or is on the way. I just pray he seeks the help he needs. I have been treated for depression. Like you, I chose to take care of it. I have told him that there is no shame in getting help. I have also told him how if you keep your feelings bottled up inside, they are going to come out one way or the other.

But, you and I both know that HE is the one who has to chose to get help. Kudos to you for seeking treatment for both your depression and the alcoholism! My Dad never did seek help and died at 62 from liver cancer. So, I know how serious the situation can be.
Stephanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sat, 11-03-2007 - 9:30am

Stephanie - that is the kicker - there is NO shame in getting help, yet so many still think there is!