Good Father, Bad Lies

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2007
Good Father, Bad Lies
1
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 2:48pm

My SO whom I love and the father of my daughter has had history with drugs of all kinds. All through our relationship he has smoked pot on and off. He always promised to stop, but has continued to smoke atleast one solid weekend and a couple random days a month. I've been told by others that as long as he only did it casually and not everyday that I should just let him do it. But when he smokes, I know that its not ever just once. Even if he does smoke just one hit at a party, he always ends up bringing some buds home. After a huge fight a couple of days ago, he promised to be good. But THAT NIGHT he met up with his pot guy and lied to me about it. He then smoked both nights. I finally said something about it today because I couldnt take it anymore. When he gets caught he becomes apathetic, but when the conversation gets serious to the point of a foot out the door, he breaks down and begs me to stay and help him. I know he cant do it alone but hes too proud to get help or even except my help. I've tried sweetness, tough love, and simply letting him go about his business. None of it helps. I have tried to remind him that his family, job, and way of life are put at risk everytime he smokes. Not to mention me and his daughter being with him everyday. I have read all these sites telling me how to help him and seriously contradicting eachother. Some even said that pot isn't so bad so maybe by my asking him to stop, I am being a nag. I figured it might be best to ask the opinion of real people who are experiencing the same issues. I told him the next time is the last but he says he cant be sure he can never do it again. At first I thought it was just indifference but I am starting to wonder if it isnt of a psychological addiction. What can I do. I dont want to break up my family, but I cant let my daughter be raised in a drug enviroment either. Plus I am worried it could escalate in the future.

Help please! I'm desperate!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 7:19pm

You came to the right place.