said he's leaving today

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
said he's leaving today
Wed, 07-23-2008 - 10:55am

We have been fighting more and more these last couple of weeks/days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2002
Wed, 07-23-2008 - 12:06pm



"OMG, I got engaged, the world will never be the same!...."


Avatar for rosolo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-23-2008 - 12:11pm


What a perfect and appropriate reading to share today.

Keep it simple, take today, just as and for what it is, a 24 hour segment of time.Thursday, July 10, 2008
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Ending Relationships

It takes courage and honesty to end a relationship - with friends, loved ones, or a work relationship.

Sometimes, it may appear easier to let the relationship die from lack of attention rather than risk ending it. Sometimes, it may appear easier to let the other person take responsibility for ending the relationship.

We may be tempted to take a passive approach. Instead of saying how we feel, what we want or don't want, or what we intend to do, we may begin sabotaging the relationship, hoping to force the other person to do the difficult work.

Those are ways to end relationships, but they are not the cleanest or the easiest ways.

As we walk this path of self-care, we learn that when it is time to end a relationship, the easiest way is one of honesty and directness. We are not being loving, gentle, or kind by avoiding the truth, if we know the truth.

We are not sparing the other person's feelings by sabotaging the relationship instead of accepting the end or the change, and doing something about it. We are prolonging and increasing the pain and discomfort - for the other person and ourselves.

If we don't know, if we are on the fence, it is more loving and honest to say that.

If we know it is time to terminate a relationship, say that.

Endings are never easy, but endings are not made easy by sabotage, indirectness, and lying about what we want and need to do. Say what you need to say, in honesty and love, when it is time. If we are trusting and listening to ourselves, we will know what to say and when to say it.

Today, I will remember that honesty and directness will increase my self-esteem. God, help me let go of my fear about owning my power to take care of myself in all my relationships.

I had this reading saved on my computer...and thought I would share it.



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2002
Wed, 07-23-2008 - 12:42pm

Rose, that is an equally perfect and appropriate reading to share, thanks for jumping in and offering insight and wisdom in this dire situation.



"OMG, I got engaged, the world will never be the same!...."


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 07-23-2008 - 12:59pm

Rose and Deb shared such beautiful and meaningful insights with you today, Rocket.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Wed, 07-23-2008 - 3:08pm


I think you are having a hard time letting go because you still harbor hope that he will change and go back to being the man he was. It is hard to accept an A might never change, and might die the way they are-perhaps much earlier due to medical issues from alcohol.

I know it's sad and hard, but after it's over you WILL feel a sense of relief. You will only have YOUR issues to deal with not his.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Thu, 07-24-2008 - 2:58pm

Thanks for all the posts..

I just wanted to let those of you who mentioned it know that I do interact with a therapist.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Thu, 07-24-2008 - 3:57pm

Hi Rocket

It sounds like you are trying hard. OF COURSE you are upset, OF COURSE you want him to stay and be the way you wish he would be.

You, do, however, live in the real world and you know reality from fantasy. That is why it hurts so much.

We are here, rooting for you!