Working the Steps
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|Fri, 08-01-2008 - 12:51am|
I went to meeting #3 of Alanon today. I'm still figuring all of this out and consider myself a "baby" at all of this. Here is what I have a question about:
Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
So here's where I am coming from. I have acted very irrationally - angry, yelling, screaming, throwing - trying to CHANGE the alcoholic. Trying to get him to notice my pain. Trying to get him to CARE. Trying to CONTROL and CURE it. Right?
For this, do I need to ask the alcoholic to forgive me? Do I need to go to the person who is hurting me - and confess my wrongs?
My responses to his drinking have been wrong. I don't know if they've actually "hurt" him because I don't know if he's even noticed, but ... nonetheless ... they were wrong. I have shouted abuse and called him terrible things. I was WRONG to do this.
But I'm not sure how to go about making amends with the actual person who "made me do it." Obviously he didn't make me do anything ... I made a choice to respond the way I did. I'm trying to NOT respond in that way anymore. I am seeking Serenity.
But this step is confusing me. Can anyone shed some light?