Like nails on a chalk board

Avatar for kweenie97
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2003
Like nails on a chalk board
5
Sun, 10-05-2008 - 2:09am

So I'm in the bedroom right now on my laptop. I'm exhausted because I spent all day deep cleaning the house and doing 4 loads of laundry. DH spent the day studying for school and that's fine. He stayed up until 4am last night drinking and watching movies. I didn't make a fuss, went along with it, and just asked that he not drink tonight. This is one of the only weekend I get off this month and I wanted to spend time together. And while we did watch a movie together last night, it's not very relaxing when he has to pause for a break every 20 minutes because he needs to get more beer/pee/go out to smoke. Plus he woke me up like 3 times last night getting up to go to the bathroom after he went to bed.

The only thing left for me to do tomorrow is mop the kitchen floor. I couldn't do it today because DH's beer cans are all over the floor (we live in MI - bottle deposits). DH had promised earlier in the week he would take them all back yesterday and that never happened. I didn't make a big deal about it, just mentioned it. So he promised he'd take them back today. Never happened.

So like I said, I'm in the bedroom so he could study in the living room. About a half hour ago I hear the pull tab pop on a beer. I got up, went out in the living room, and asked what was going on. DH wouldn't answer me - too engrossed in his video game and avoiding me. I said there were two things he promised me about today. He responded that he was going to take his cans back tomorrow. I said that's what he had told me earlier in the week and yesterday. Then I asked why he was drinking. His answer was simply that it's the weekend. And I know that it probably was not the best time to say it but I said the problem was I am concerned he can't stop himself. To which he got up and went outside to smoke.

*sigh* So I'm back in the bedroom sitting here. And every pop of the pull tab is like fingernails on a chalk board to me. He's difficult enough to communicate with as it is....I really don't know how to get through to him about this.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Sun, 10-05-2008 - 8:32am

Not to be pessimistic, but you aren't going to get through to him. Alcoholics and problem drinkers only 'see the light' when their actions catch up to them. As long as the consequences were less important than my booze, I didn't get it.


Are you able to get to AlAnon in person or online?


Avatar for kweenie97
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2003
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 12:14pm

I've joined Al-Anon online. He drank again last night. I said it wasn't the weekend so what was his excuse for drinking on a school night. He laughed and said he was happy. I replied "Well, I'm not."

I had told him Sunday when we was sober how I felt and my concerned. He just shrugged and said "Okay."

Last night I was so angry when I found out that he had bought more beer and was getting drunk again that I hid his 40 ozers. He just kept asking where they were and telling me I was ruining his night. I said he'd ruined mine and I was tired of the beer being more important than our marriage.

I'm seriously getting to the end of my rope. I can't just keep feeling like I'm a roommate here...and a poorly respected one at that.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 12:31pm
(((((((((HUGS)))))))))


Avatar for kweenie97
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2003
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 1:07pm

Thank you. :o)

He keeps saying this is just who he is and that I need to accept him this way because he accepts me the way I am being over weight. I do love him...but I hate what he's becoming when he drinks. I hate the behaviors in him associated with his drinking. How do I balance the two?


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 1:53pm

Hi there!