Long distance help?

Avatar for queen_brat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Long distance help?
4
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 11:31pm

Not sure how to start this. I have tried a couple of times and haven't liked the way they sound (sigh). For the last 6 years


Image hosted by Photobucket.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 7:44am

Hello and welcome


I am glad this man helped you after your abusive marriage. He obviously cares about you. The problem is, however, that he cares about alcohol more. That is his love and his passion. It is sad, but you cannot help him if he doesn't want help. And him warning you away from talking about it is a big clue that he doesn't think it is a problem for him.


You might want to check out AlAnon. They have a great saying..."you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it."


Please stick around.


Beth


aka


CL-WifeMomTeacher


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 9:40am

Hi there and welcome.


I strongly urge you to re-think a week-long visit with this man.

Avatar for queen_brat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 12:44pm

thank you for the welcome. I am going to at least lurk to see if I can figure things out. I hate that he won't let me help and now doesn't want to talk about it. We use to be able to talk about everything and over the last couple of years that has changed and it hurts. I don't want to walk away but I know from experince people don't change unless they want to. I feel so bad about this because I thought I could handle it but I can't. The drinking is just the tip of the iceberg on what other things are going on but this one seems to be the main one right now because they others we could work though but this we can't. Only he can do something about it and him shutting me out of it will only make me feel worse. I know this isn't about me but it still hurts that he is shutting me out.


Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Avatar for queen_brat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 12:58pm

Thank you for the welcome. I was looking for the bitter truth. As you see in my siggy i cl a hard board and we do not pull any punches over there either. I don't want anyone to try and make things easier for me. I want the hard and honest truth from someone who has been there and done that. I know I can't get him to change and I only bring up wanting to help in any way


Image hosted by Photobucket.com