What was she thinking....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
What was she thinking....
7
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 4:01pm

....she wasn't thinking, I guess. My niece is 29 and she just married a guy she knew when she was 18. They dated for 3 months when she was 18 and then they stopped seeing one another. In between this time he has been in and out of trouble a lot with the law and is a drug addict...heroin, crack, coke, whatever he can get. My niece married him in April after just meeting back up with him a month and a half before they married. Since then she has lost custody of her 6 year old dd because her dd's father doesn't want my great niece around her new H. I am glad he got custody of her. The problem is that my niece still has her little girl the same amount of time as she did before. They split the week up before he got custody, and now it isn't much different with him having custody. The drugs are being done around, or with my great niece in the house. That makes me mad, and my little niece shouldn't be around this environment.


My niece is now doing drugs with her husband. She is snorting heroin and cocaine. At this point I don't think it is on a regular basis, but I am not sure. In time it will be on a regular basis, if it isn't already. My niece is confiding to my dd who is 19, that she is doing these drugs. My dd is so upset and disappointed in her cousin. My dd has tried to tell her what she can lose by doing these drugs and, of course, she gets no where. My niece tells my dd not to be mad at her. That sounds like a drug addict to me. This past New years my dd went to my nieces house to spend it with her, but my dd asked if there would be drugs there. My niece told her no, so my dd went over there. My dd told me my niece went in her bedroom for about 10 minutes then came out with her eyes watering, and sniffling. My dd used my nieces car to see a friend. When my dd came back, my niece was throwing up. The next day my niece told my dd that she wanted to give her husband a reward for not doing drugs for a few weeks. I know this isn't true because she had us all over the Saturday after x-mas and her H was sweating and couldn't keep still, so I knew he was on crack, meth,

     ~ Tina ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 7:09pm

Hello and welcome!


First, my condolences on your losses.


Second, keep your daughter away from her cousin. Texting is one thing, but seeing is another.


Third, and this is totally up to you, someone has to help that little girl. If her mom has time with her and is using, the little one needs help. I don 't know whether CPS or the dad would be the call to make.


Do you go to ACOA or AlAnon? During this time it might help. There is also NarAnon.


Just to let you know, my 20 year old cousin is currently in rehab...for methadone addiction...because of his heroin addiction. It is a tough drug. I will add your niece to my prayers when I pray for my cousin.


Beth


aka


CL-WifeMomTeacher


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 7:40pm

I was thinking of calling CPS on her anonymously. I hate that my great niece is around such idiots. I will not be able to see my great niece if she has no visitation, but that is the risk I am willing to take. I rather not see my little niece then for something bad to happen while she is with her mother and her drugged up boyfriend. Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to sound judgemental here. I know drug addiction

     ~ Tina ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 7:50pm

Don't apologize for the dual posts...I understand.


The plan sounds good.


Beth


aka


CL-WifeMomTeacher


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 10:53pm
It would be nice if reporting her helped

     ~ Tina ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 7:39am

I feel for your situation. I work as a counselor in a correction facility and all to often the folks I work with were at one point where your niece is now. Couple of things; call CPS ASAP. All calls to CPS are anonymous no matter what phone you use. The CPS workers can't tell your niece where the call came from. In most states CPS will work with the neglectful parent to make different choices so they may continue a relationship with the child. It will then be up to that parent to either make the changes or lose the child completely. Either way the little girl is in safer hands. The best time to do this is when you know your niece has drugs in the home.

The other is that if your niece is arrested for a drug offense and has a small or no criminal history the chances of her getting into a drug program are great as opposed to jail/prison.

The comes a time in addict's lives when outside forces have to come into play to give them opportunities to change. What they do with it is, of course, up to them.

LG
LG
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 10:52am

(((((Tina))))) I agree with everything that has already been said. You know where I am if you need to talk or just need some additional support. And, I think that AlAnon would be a good idea if there's any in your area. I know how hard it is to find the NarAnon groups. The area I live in is growing rapidly, with new groups popping up all over the place, but even with all the growth and new meetings, there's still no NarAnon.


You're taking the right steps my friend. I'm here for you, just as you have been for me.


Love & Hugs,
Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 9:19pm
Tina! -