Leaving an addict

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2009
Leaving an addict
13
Mon, 02-02-2009 - 6:59am
I have been living with an addict for 7 months and I am ending the relationship. This man is addicted to alcohol,gambling,pot and smoking. I KNOW what price loving this man is causing me emotionally, physically and financially. I truly do believe I love this man, yet hate the addictions. I know the relationship will not work or at the most would be a life filled with hurt and dissappointment by staying. The final straw was when during a night of his binge drinking he swung at me and causing my fingers to be bent backwards and I then slapped him back across the arm. I felt horrible and shocked at my reaction.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Mon, 02-02-2009 - 9:04am
What you are going thru at this time is THE hardest, most painful process that I know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2002
Mon, 02-02-2009 - 10:48am

Yes, one of the hardest things I ever had to do was end a relationship with a verbally abusive alcoholic.


 


"OMG, I got engaged, the world will never be the same!...."


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2009
Mon, 02-02-2009 - 1:51pm

Thank you so much for replying. Well the " moving out" didnt take place. At 5:20 he called me and left a message asking when he could get his things... it was a blocked call and I thought after knowing there were 2 other calls that were from payphones.. he was on the streets. I took a full blown panic attack!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Mon, 02-02-2009 - 7:24pm

Please know that taking care of yourself is a positive thing. You deserve more than what you are getting from him.


Welcome

Bye Cookie
Cookie 12/1994-1/2009


Beth


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 02-02-2009 - 7:49pm
"If you mind two fires, they both go out."
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Mon, 02-02-2009 - 9:17pm

cares -


You're on the right track being able to separate the disease from the person.

                               

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2009
Tue, 02-03-2009 - 2:54pm

Well I made my first steps to healing. I attended my first Alanon meeting. I realized I have been trying to control him. I was stuck in the belief I could change him or he would change for me. When I left for the Alanon meeting he was dumb founded. He realizes I wouldn`t even be attending if it weren`t for his addiction and how it affects me. The meeting showed me I need to let go of the control and realize he is what he is and will always be until HE comes to the point of wanting to get help. I have a life and I deserve to enjoy it!! Letting his addiction and his needs control me only sets me up for more hurt/anger/resentment. I realize the ball is in my court and YES I deserve far better!!! Thanks for the support.. keep on writing :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2009
Tue, 02-03-2009 - 3:26pm
...I am glad that you attended Alanon...good...as far as his calls coming in "blocked"...he was manipulating you...in my opinion...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2009
Tue, 02-03-2009 - 3:54pm

Most definately... I think he believed if I felt sorry for him and thought he had been on the streets overnight I would feel sorry for him and take him back .. and the sad thing is it worked. He also knows there is to be no booze or gambling or he IS out. This to me will only be a matter of time and then I am going to have to face reality that he IS out and follow through.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Tue, 02-03-2009 - 10:50pm

Hi,


I used to post here periodically a jillion years ago (well, last year) when I was having problems with my husband.

Pages