Don't Know What To Do:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2008
Don't Know What To Do:(
Tue, 05-19-2009 - 11:33pm

I need some advice and support. It is has been in the last 10 years that my mom has started drinking. Alcohol was never in our house and my parents never drank. My parents went through years of therapy for childhood trauma and my mom ended up being the rock for my dad. He was not emotionally there for my mom and after a stressful time in her life, or when she was hurt emotionally she would have a few drinks. She now drinks when these feelings come up and doesn't stop until she passes out. She becomes vulgar, loud,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Thu, 05-21-2009 - 6:07am

Hello and welcome

I am Beth, one of the cls here. Your mom definitely has a problem with alcohol, and it has become your problem. Your love for you Mom is evident, but I can tell you that there is next to nothing YOU can do to get your mom to stop drinking. If you have relatives who agree with you, you can contact a therapist about an intervention. That may, more may not, work.

If Mom continues to relate the present to the past, you need to remind her that you were younger and less able to help then. The two have nothing to do with each other.

For yourself, please check out AlAnon, a 12 step program to help friends and family members deal with the effect someone else's alcohol use has had on them.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 05-21-2009 - 7:05pm

Hi there and welcome here.