Rose... How are things?

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Registered: 04-07-2003
Rose... How are things?
6
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 12:40pm
Hey there friend. I noticed your recent post above, checking on another person. My first thought was that it was good to "see" you, and my second was this: in reaching out to others, it helps us to stay sober.
So, how are things going? I hope better for you.
Just getting back from a magical trip to Hawaii and finally finishing my masters degree, I am enjoying the last few weeks of summer before going back to school. I have actually read some novels for the first time in two years, and getting a chance to bond with Jack, our new 10-month old lab mix. My DD turns 21 in a few weeks - and she is coming home for the weekend in an hour or two. Life is good today.
God bless,
Leslie
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 1:40pm

Hi Leslie,

Thank you for asking.

I am doing very well thanks. Getting DS ready for college, DD is practicing volleyball (she is on the Middle School team) and tennis. Life is busy but, good.

I am so glad to hear you enjoyed Hawaii. When DD and I went in 05, I too thought
it was magical.

Things are alot better then they were back in May. Or maybe, it is "I" who is better :)
I went to my doctor who is also a naturopath (?). After some testing, it was determined
that I needed some specific minerals and vitamins. That along with some dietary changes have made a world of difference in my mental and physical health. When I was headed down my slippery path, I knew that physically something wasn't quite right. I also knew that I should have taken the time to go to the doctor then. I have to remember to take care of myself, spiritually, mentally and physically.

Leslie, it is so awesome that you are finishing your masters. What a wonderful accomplishment!!!!

Enjoy your DD's visit. Wow., she is turning 21...where do the years go?

Peace,
Rose

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Registered: 04-07-2003
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 7:20pm
Hi again! Good to hear from you! Your son is getting ready for college??? You were so right - where does the time go? I am glad you are taking care of "all" of you - and the physical aspect is so vitally important. Alcoholism takes it's toll on us spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically, so IMHO it makes sense to take care of ourselves as much as we care. I still take Rx for depression and it has made the difference between living in darkness and stepping out into the light. My daughter arrived safe and sound and she is out with DH walking the dog. Jack has been good for us - he has kept me more active with great exercise - something I had let slide.
Take care! If you need/want any tips for getting your son ready for college let me know. Freshman year is a HUGE adjustment - for both parents and children.
God bless,
Leslie
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 4:38pm

So glad to hear your DD arrived safely!!

Jack sounds like he is a wonderful addition to your family. Our 11 year old golden
retriever can make me feel like a low down dirty "dawg" if I miss a walk with her.
Our three dogs are truly members of the family.

The off to college adventure. I am so excited for him. He is living off campus in a four-plex with three other "buds". So, we are in the process of furnising his room, and setting up house for all of them. The thought of four "young men" sharing a house
brings certain visuals to my mind. Mainly, the movie "Animal House" :) He has known
these boys all his life though, and I am sure it won't be quite that bad.

Any tips that you can think of off the top of your head??? I will welcome any and all
suggestions.

Peace,
Rose

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Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 5:20pm
Hi Rose. Looking back on Suzanne's freshman year, she has come a long way. Being a girl and an only child, it might have been hard for her - maybe harder than for your son(?). First, she had to adjust to making many little decisions: study time, doing laundry, finding classes, managing a checkbook - and then facing challenges of partying, drinking, and going out with friends... Suz didn't realize the amount of time needed to studying, because school had always come fairly easy for her. So when her grades came in the first semester in the low "B" range, she was shocked. She also had trouble with an ulcer and that has flared up a couple of times over the past 3 years.
All in all, I would suggest that you send your son some care packages every few weeks - cookies, snacks, extra school supplies - little things you know he likes. Call him at least a couple times a week, but expect that he may call you more. Encourage him, as I know you would. Listen to him when or if he complains about things, but let him work on solutions. Let him know that you believe in him and are proud of him. Also, don't be surprised if he changes his major once, twice, or even more. Suzanne changed hers twice. I realized that it was important for her to stay in college and even though I wanted her to finalize her decision I read that it was normal for students to do this frequently.
There is that fine line between letting go and being there! Let go too much and some students stray off the path. Being there too much and they rebel!
I know you are a great mother Rose - take it one day at a time. Remember to place him in God's hands - where he has always been!
Leslie
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 6:40pm

Thank you so much for sharing Leslie.

I appreciate the tips so much. I know he will definetely be challenged balancing
academics and the college scene. It seems as soon as this summer hit, all the
graduates were testing limits. Some of this, I know, is almost a set up to
the fact that there will be a seperation for all of us.

I am thankful that he is only an hour away. Right now he is enrolled in a fisheries/allied aquaculture school, which, allows some private pond fishing, etc.
He has already invited my DH to come up there fishing. So...we will just see how
this balancing act goes.

Leslie, he will be seeing Dave Matthews in concert again in September.

Thank you for the compliment of being a great mother. I don't know that I am. I/we have tried, and hopefully a solid foundation has been laid for him. He is in God's care, he is God's child.

I may have some more questions during this first freshman year Leslie., so, I hope you don't mind me asking!

Peace,
Rose

You are

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Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 8:15pm
I LOVE Dave Matthews! Suz and her BF went to Atlanta last year to see him - they are also avid fans.
Being an hour away is a real plus - first of all - he is on his own, but you are close enough to have a handle on how he is doing. Also, go to parent events when you can and go up for the day and take him to lunch. Trust me, the kids really enjoy a restaurant when they have been eating on their own for a while! Going fishing with Dad is another excellent activity.
I know in my heart you are a great mother - your words of wisdom, kindness, and strength show plainly in the words that you write. Your spiritual nature is a wonderful quality!
Ask me anytime - I will be glad to share my E.S. & H. as a college Mom!
God bless,
Leslie