Morning Glory seeds
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| Sat, 11-19-2005 - 7:58am |
My DD14's friends are experimenting with several different drugs and this was a new one she told me about. She said "B was selling seeds to some kids" - she didn't know and I couldn't tell from what she was telling me if it was really seeds or just the code name, so I googled. Sad to say - it's actually the seeds of Morning Glory flowers. I actually don't know why B was selling them - since anyone could get them from a garden store - but in one step I found a recipe for making a liquid that will allow you to hallucinate like you're on LSD.
DD is not using drugs - she's very adamantly against it - but it makes her angry (and makes me sad and scared) that several of her friends are tempted and experimenting. She and I have almost daily discussions about this. She feels her good friends will cut back or stop because they love her and won't want her to be mad. I think that puts an awful burden on my DD - it's not her responsibility to keep others straight. This makes her even madder - she says it *is* her responsibility. I told her that her friends should make their decisions based on their own determinations, not because someone else will be 'mad' or 'disappointed' - this is the difference between a child and an adult - internal locus of control. She didn't like this line of discussion and changed the subject - but I think she heard me anyway.
Sue

Back in the dark ages (as my kids would say)
When you buy morning glory seeds at the nursery they have been treated with a chemical that causes nausea, to discourage people from ingesting them as a recreational drug (and I suppose it would also get the seeds out of your system so then you wouldn't get much effect). She might want to mention that to her friends if they have not already taken them.
Your poor dd really is in a difficult spot, seeing her friends doing things that she is against. Expecting or hoping that they will change their ways "for her" can be a big set-up for hurt and disappointment. If they don't stop will she feel that they have betrayed her or they don't "love her enough"? That she is to blame because she should have somehow convinced them to stop? Will she drop them, or try to adopt more of a live and let live attitude?
It is pretty common at this age to make changes in friends over these kinds of issues. I hope that your dd has some other friends that are not into the drug experimentation.
Sue,
Are all of her friends into this experimentation? If so, why do you think this particular group of kids have fallen into this? I'm always interested in what makes certain kids gravitate towards drugs. In my case, I experimented after I was 18 because I hit a rebellious streak (I was a late bloomer) - and yes, all of my friends were doing it. I think personally it has more to do with whether or not the parent has discussed the issue with their kids from an early age. I think it has alot to do with personality myself, although some parents swear up and down that keeping their kids busy with a ton of activities will be the deterrent.
At that age, kids think they can save the world. DD's ex b/f was into drugs, drinking, smoking - you name it. She thought if she loved him enough, if she was a good enough friend, if she listened enough, he would quit. He did but for all the wrong reasons so it didn't last. I think she realizes now that we are each responsible for our own choices but having some encouragement from your friends can help but ultimately the friend can't make them do anything.
Other than the high, are the morning glory seeds physically dangerous to your body, as in long-term effects of usage over a period of time? Just wondering.
One of the other posters said she wondered what makes some kids gravitate toward the drug users, drinkers, etc. I too wonder that - DH is an alcoholic and both of youngest DD's b/f's have had addiction problems. So in her case, I've heard all the psychological reasons that those in the know give but I can't understand it. I can't understand when you've seen the hurt these behaviors place on a family why would you want that in your life. I just don't get it.
One "psychological theory" is that we marry someone who will help us re-create the family we grew up in. That we are always compelled to "work it out", i.e. that family situation we grew up in. Of course, we do none of this consciously. I'm not sure I buy into the theory. But thinking about how my dad was always at home but hardly ever "present" I do see some similarities with my dh. For my dad, he was an IBM engineer computer geek (waaaaaay before it was so common) always at the computer (at home, in the late 60's). Now my dh is also an engineer, but spends alot of his time in the garage "tinkering". So I do see some similarities. But while my mom let it go, I am forever dragging dh into the family situation (come in here, I need you!)so he can be in the trenches with me. And he is present with our kids in a way my dad never was for his own.