school going to far

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2001
school going to far
18
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 7:53am

Ok I need to see if I am the only parent who thinks this is going to far. How would you react if the school called you and stated that your daughter was suspended for hugging her boyfriend on school grounds? There has a been a new rule put into affect at or school system called GAY STRAIGHT ALLIANCE you are not to have any physical contact with another. My daughter is a sophmore at our local high school. If you are caught holding your boyfriend or girlfriends hand you get a saturday detention. If you give your boyfriend or girlfriend a hug or a kiss you are suspended. You are not even allowd to hug a friend. My daughters boyfriend had his hand on her hip the other day and the teacher stated she didn't need to see them haveing sex in the hall way. I understand that there has to be rules but am I the only one thinking this is going to far. I have no problem with my daughter walking down the hall of the school holding her boyfriends hand I know this isn't going to lead her to haveing sex. I can understand if the kids are in the hallway passionatly kissing but to be walking down the hall holding hands equals spending your saturday in detention.

Mlisd

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
In reply to: mlisd
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 9:01am

As long as the rules are clearly stated I see nothing wrong with following through with consequences for breaking them.

Pam
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mlisd
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 9:56am

I agree it's a stupid rule, but since all the kids know it's the rule, they must suffer the consequences of thier actions, after all.

If you would like to see the rule modified or thrown out, contact a few other parents and get thier views. I think hand holding is fine and I think it's kind of rotten for the school to have a no touching policy. I can see no making out or groping, obviously no sex, but hand holding? That just screams EXTREME to me.

However, perhaps there is a reason why they had to create this rule in the first place. It seem obvious that there must have been an incident that warranted such an extreme No Touching rule, eh?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
In reply to: mlisd
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 10:39am

I think it's gone too far. Surely there are bigger worries than if kids hug or hold hands..... sheesh.

Good luck,
zz

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
In reply to: mlisd
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 10:40am
I personally don't have a problem seeing teens hold hands, hug or a very tiny kiss. However, the school administration may feel that this rule is necessary to prevent teachers from having to make a judgement call about what is and what isn't appropriate. When I was in high school I would get to school early and my b/f and I would have a pretty heavy good morning kiss in his car. My bio teacher caught us and later pulled us both out of class for a good lecture. He called my mom and while she had seen us kiss like that and accepted it, she also supported the teacher simply b/c he was the teacher. Teacher's don't get that kind of parental support anymore so the administration has to make things very clear to the students and parents. I also feel that if it is a rule then the consequences should be applied and if the parents wish, they could try to change the rule.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
In reply to: mlisd
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 10:57am

Yeah, I DO think this is a bit extreme, but as pointed out by others, there is probably a reason behind the rule somewhere. And, as long as it is consistently enforced to EVERY student, I'd be okay with it. It's when the rules are kinda-sorta enforced maybe some of the time to some of the students that I get all hot and bothered.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
In reply to: mlisd
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 11:55am
That rule makes no sense. After your daughter serves her detention, I would encourage her to gather a group of like-minded students together and work constructively the change the rule.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mlisd
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 12:28pm

This was a rule back in my day-funny how things come back around, isnt it?

Well, my first thought was "if you were dating a co-worker, how would you behave at work?"

As Dr Phil says, school is THEIR job so perhaps they should be subject to the same standards.

I dont think its about school affection leading to sex but more about acceptable behavior-time and place for everything, etc

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
In reply to: mlisd
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 3:47pm
That's a great analogy!
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2001
In reply to: mlisd
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 4:48pm

I don't want my daughter to break the rules of the school my daughter is a B student never has missed a day of school and has never had a detention. She can go the day without touching her boyfriend. Considering he brings her home from school every day and is here every day so she does have that time with him. If you and your spouse work together no you wouldn't show affection towards each other. But if you road into work together would you kiss your spouse good bye before walking into work? When I went to school you always saw couples walking down the hall hand an hand. I really don't think that holding hands will lead to something happening in the hall. Thank God I only have 2 years left of school days. As the kids have gone through the grades the standards get more and more hard for these kids.

mlisd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
In reply to: mlisd
Sun, 12-04-2005 - 10:13am
I think hand holding in high school is a rite of passage. Teenagers aren't adults. The school is micromanaging.

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