Stepson possibly using drugs
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| Fri, 12-02-2005 - 2:09pm |
Hi - I've got a 15 year old stepson. He's a good kid - always played by the book, good grades, etc. He is in 10th grade this year. We've noticed his grades falling the past few months, he doesn't want to hang out with any friends except one (a girl but only a friend), he's tired all the time and won't eat anything. He's becoming extremely mouthy lately too. His mom called my dh today and told him that he's failing a class at school. She also told him that my stepson has convinced himself that he's has ADD (the girl he hangs out with has ADD and is on Ritalin for it). She said she is taking him to a psychologist on Monday so he can talk to him and maybe help out. She told my dh that he is very mouthy to her lately and rebelious (something he's never been). We've heard of kids using Ritalin as speed basically. We have a feeling that is what he is trying to do - get a doc to diagnose him and give him a prescription of it. We think he's been using his friend's when he's with her. When he is at our house - he doesn't eat, won't do anything with us anymore, has a BAD attitude and is tired all the time - kind of like he's 'coming down' from it. We don't think he's done anything when he's at our house (every other week) because he doesn't have access to anything with us - unless he's bringing it with him.
We have 3 other children together (14, 6 and 5 mos) and this is new to us. We are trying to make sure we do the right thing and get him the help he needs if in fact he has a problem. I don't want to see him do something stupid and mess his whole life up. He's an intelligent kid with a great future ahead of him. I've helped raise him since he was 7 years old and he's just like my own baby you know? I'm very worried about him. We want to be able to approach him the best way to discuss what's going on with him. My dh said he's been thinking something like this for the past 3 - 4 weeks but didn't really know what to say to me about it. He knows I'm a "mom" and will be a wreck if there's anything going on wrong with any of my kids.
Anyone have any insight or advice? Thanks
Shelli

No advice - but super-hugs for you!!! I hope that you're wrong - that he's going through "typical" teen-age cr*p. But if you're right, then you'll be very glad you pursued it. My DD has several friends who are regular pot-smokers and maybe more. I often wonder if their parents don't know, or know and don't want to do anything about it.
There's lots of good advice on http://www.theantidrug.com/
HUGS Good luck to your and your DH
Sue
Sorry you're having to go through this....
I have a sister addicted to speed and everything you've said about your son leads me to believe your intuition is right.
I don't know of the best way to approach him about it. When you ask, he's gonna lie. Maybe offer up a drug test when he appears to be coming down since speed usually leaves the body within 3 days.
Maybe your husband needs to speak to the psychologist about why ya'll think he's aiming to get Ritalin. And there are lots of other ADD meds that aren't like speed, in case DS is ADD.
Just some thoughts,
zz
Thanks to everyone who responded. We've talked to my ss and he his adamant that he is not doing any drugs. He is still going to a psychatrist tomorrow. After speaking more with him, it seems to me/us that he is depressed. He broke down and started crying - this is a 6'2" 15 year old boy, crying is not something common with him - saying he is under a lot of pressure to make the good grades so he can go to a good college of his choice. He said he doesn't want to hang out with all of friends because of money. His school is in a very "ritzy" part of town and the majority of the kids are very wealthy - he is one that is not wealthy - he is wanting to keep up with his friends' with clothes, cars, etc., but it's just not possible. My son goes to a Lutheran high school, wears a uniform to school. There are some very wealthy families there but since they all dress alike - there's no competition there. It's a small school (about 100 students total) and everyone knows everyone and everyone is involved in every school activity. My stepson's school has about 3,000 students total and of course there's a lot of competition and clicks - and I think he's feeling like the odd man out since he doesn't have the money a lot of his friends have. We've asked him if he would like to transfer to Lutheran High and he seems interested in that. Although we have another obstacle - his mother (hateful person!!) - who will probably not go for the idea. Even though I'm willing to take him/pick up every day since I don't work (SAHM) it wouldn't be that big of a deal, and of course we would pay his tuition. We will see what the doctor says tomorrow and go from there I guess.
Thanks to all.
Shelli