What can we do???
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What can we do???
| Sun, 12-04-2005 - 12:20am |
My husband (DD-15 YO step-father) found compromising pictures (very sexually explicit) of my daughter on the computer yesterday. My husband found these while these while he was attemptimg to fix the kid's computer. The computer was sluggish, so he added spyware and anit-varus software to recitfy the problem. And BINGO!
He contacted my daughter's father (my EX-who is travelling in Europe for his job) to explain the situation. My ex insinuated my husband might sell the pictures (YA RIGHT!) for cash.
In addition, my daughter was picked uo for shoplifting a month ago. She has also been sexually active, for which I took her to PLANNED PARENTHOOD.
HELP!!!

Sounds like your DD is going through a tough time, and is acting out in many different ways. My first advice is to talk to *her* - not just her father - what's going on in her head? I don't mean yell at her or take privileges away (although you might do that too), I mean TALK and find out why she's so angry. Maybe try to get her to talk to a counselor. Also, you don't say *who* took or put the pictures on the computer. I find that my computer savvy daughter doesn't think about who might SEE her pictures, even when they're on a semi-public website. Maybe your DD thought these pics would never be seen. I don't mean to imply the pics are OK, but just that you need to do some more talking about where they came from.
Hang in there!
Sue
hugs.... i basically agree with the other poster - your dd needs help, she needs to be heard - as a person, as an individual, and you all (as a family unit/parenting unit) need help.
I don't have any specific advice - just sending some hugs...
Please talk with your DD about this - try to keep the conversation very calm w/o button pushing. This is very difficult but in this case, it is essential. I can only tell you how I handled the rough spell my DD went through a few years ago (she was 15). I spoke with my pastor and she first suggested counseling for DD. DD refused. Then pastor suggested that I see an adolescent counselor so that the counselor could help me to understand possibly why DD was behaving this way. Knowing why helped me tremendously. The counselor also helped me learn how to talk to her and how to help her with what she was going through. Eventually DD went to therapy (for about 5 sessions). Things are so much better now.
I also read every book on raising teens that I could find. I didn't always agree with them but they gave me some needed reassurance. They also gave me some additional insights into the why of her behavior.
I posted here for 99% of DD's troubles and while they didn't always have the answers, it sure did help knowing I wasn't alone. Writing about the problems also helped me to get my thoughts straight before I talked to DD.
Good Luck and please take advantage of us whenever you need to - we are here to help.