Age difference? does it matter
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Age difference? does it matter
| Mon, 12-05-2005 - 2:04am |
Greetings! I have a quick question tonight! My freshman daughter has been asked to the Senior Semi-Formal next Friday. I have not said "yes" yet...based solely on the age difference! Am I being too old fashioned...I mean back in my day...this just was not done! Am I being too paranoid...a senior boy...asking a freshman???? She says they are just going as friends but frankly I have not really heard her even talk about this boy before. She hasn't really dated yet. Gaaaaaa! Help! BTW she's a great kid...gymnast...excellent student and has not given me any reason to distrust her.
Nina
Nina

I would also have mixed feelings about this, and interestingly my 14yoDD says "it's probably not a good idea". But IMHO it's probably innocent - someone she's somewhat friendly with who doesn't have a date. When I was in HS, my girlfriend who was a Junior asked my brother, who was a Freshman, to her prom. She didn't have anyone she was *dying* to go with in her grade, and if she had asked someone it would have felt more 'date-ish'. Asking a friend meant they both had fun, without the pressure of a big date.
I think you should let your daughter go, but set some boundaries. And talk to her about your concerns -she won't know anyone, he might leave her out of conversations with her friends, and (the hard one) he might expect more physically at the end of the evening than she does.
HTH
Sue
If your daughter is a freshman, I'm guessing she is 14 or 15 years old. Just my opinion, but she is too young to date, and she is WAY too young to be dating an 18 year-old man/boy.
By the way, the fact that your girl is a great student and athlete doesn't protect her from getting caught up in the moment with an older boy. So many girls this age are so awed and impressed with older boys that their good judgement goes out the window. Keep in mind that your daughter is still a child.
I'm usually inclined to say "yes, but..." in as many situations as I can. I don't think the age difference is a huge factor when it comes to a school dance, and I don't really consider attending a school dance as "dating". I would probably say to my dd "You can attend the dance with your friend, but you're too young and there is too much of an age difference for any dating outside of a school event." I would also insist on driving them. This puts the decision back in her lap.
This whole dating thing is complicated, isn't it?
jt